Noteworthy

The Search for Significance

2010-06-20T20:59:00.003-04:00

I went to my parents today as of course it is Father's Day. The weather was perfect and I enjoyed sitting outside with my family and having a barbeque. We don't get together as often as I would like and being there today along with my brother made be miss it even more.
I walked around the yard as it always seems to bring back certain memories of my childhood. I didn't appreciate the serenity of country living especially when I was a teenager but the sun, breeze and butterflies seemed to culminate such a beautiful experience. I also had a memory of my feelings of insignificance as a teenager. Sitting outside craving to be important to someone. Feeling so unworthy and unimportant. I know many teenagers feel that way from time to time but the resergence of those emotions intenified my recent feelings of insecurity and uncertainty.
I have been struggling lately with my work life, home life and my personal life. Because the first two demand so much of my time and energy, the third is very neglected. I resent my work for taking me away from family and robbing me of time with my Christian friends. I never get together with anyone and basically have no social life other than going to church on Sunday. So in a sense, I still struggle with that sense of significance. I feel undervalued in my work, unappreciated by my family and hate myself for all of the mistakes I am making with my husband and children. My emotions are also compounded by the weaning of Effexor over the last few months.
But God reminded me today of some very important things. He is my sufficiency. He is my significance. Without Him, I am nothing.
He provided my job for me at a time when I needed to work full time. I miss seeing my patients and caring for them. That position gave me affirmation of what I was doing. I need to depend on Him for that affirmation, not people.
This is a season in my life where my things will be busy. Family needs to be the next priority after God. I do need good Christian friends but at this time, He is sufficient.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33. I need to talk with Him more. Study His Word and seek first His Kingdom. I need to place Him first in my life and at the center of my life. Not work, not family not me!! He is first. The rest of life is not working because I am selfishly putting my needs first. I have been whining "poor me" when I should be rejoicing that He has blessed and provided me with so much.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2Corinthians 12:9
Those feelings of unworthiness and insignificance as a teenager were the symptoms of my empty heart before Christ. My heart was crying out for a Savior and there would be many years of tripping over God before I finally found Him and was saved by His grace and mercy.
"When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." 1Corinthians 13:11 I now know Jesus as Savior but I need to work on Him being Lord of my life. My feelings of insignificance are not from being that insecure child. I am secure in Him and my salvation. He is my significance.

Left or Right

2010-05-16T18:27:00.003-04:00

An "interesting" conversation on a facebook page:

C.M.: I've decided anti abortion people should not kill even an insect because even insects are more evolved than embryos within the first couple months. Stop murder of insects.

Me: When one even dares to equate insects with the development human life, the only emotion I have is pity for the one who dares.

CM: Life is life. How arrogant to assume otherwise.

MD: When one even dares to inflict their morality on another I have nothing but outrage for their arrogance.

NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL ANY WOMAN WHAT SHE MUST DO WITH HER BODY.

That includes the religious right and politicians.

Me: If you are seeking to evoke emotion, I will not satisfy that desire. God bless you.

MD: LOL. WTF does that mean? Evoke emotion? You post your comment about equating insects with human life and then slink away into your anonymity. Nice. Typical christian bull$hit.

CS: I leak emotion all over the place but I will not be swayed by religious types telling me how to conduct myself to accommodate their religion. I don't subscribe to that and instead will use my own moral compass. that is actually still legal in Canada. This may surprise some, but there is a separation of church and state in this i country.

ME: Im not quite sure where "religion" entered into the conversation other than my previous salutation which would only be an assumption that I come from a faith background. Not once was a church or theology mentioned.
My basis for the identification and respect for human life originates in science. Pro life stand does not always equate with theological doctrine.

It is interesting how those who reside in the far left of the political spectrum make many more assumptions and judgments that what they seem to think the "Christian right" are doing.

The Shack

2009-01-03T22:08:00.002-05:00

I finished reading The Shack last week. It took me a whole 24 hours to complete the book that I have been encouraged to read for quite some time. There has been a fair bit of contraversy about this book and it's theological correctness. I am no theologian but this book affirmed many aspects of my God that I have always understood but rarely verbalized.
In this book, the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit is presented in a very unconventional way. I have had no problem thinking of God the Father as a loving Father. I have always had a good relationship with my own earthly father, so I think that is why I can picture God in this way. If my earthly father had been abusive, absent or distant, it may have not been quite as easy. The main character in this book did have an alcoholic, abusive earthly father. When God chose to reveal Himself, He did so as a woman. Not only a woman but a black woman. One magazine actually termed her as an Aunt Jemimah of sorts.
Jesus (God the Son) revealed Himself as a Middle Eastern Man with black hair and a large nose. One part of the book where I had to giggle was when Mack (the main character) said something like, "Jesus I thought you would be more...." Then Jesus said, "Handsome?". Mack replies rather sheepishly, "Yes". We get this image of a blond German Jesus and it just couldn't be further from the truth. We get so duped in our traditional Christian symbols. I think we all will be surprised when we see our Lord on that day. No matter what, He will be beautiful!
God the Holy Spirit is portrayed as an Asian woman. I resonate with this depiction because of our own discomfort as Christians, with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is our teacher and comforter but we often think s/he is mysterious, just like this Asian woman.
The way I see it is, God will reveal Himself to us in a way we can comprehend. He is God and He can do that. He knows each one of us in such an intimate way. He knew when we would come to know Him as Savior and Lord and He knew exactly what it would take to get us to that point of surrender. He knows our coming and our going. He is just the kind of God that would taylor Himself and anything around us to bring us to Himself and in step with Him again.
What a Savior!

Life is Short

2008-08-26T20:47:00.001-04:00

We are saddened and shocked by the deaths of those in our age group, like it can't happen to us. One thing I learned in my profession at an early age, is "Life is Short". I think when I turned 40 it wasn't turning 40 that bothered me, it was realizing my own mortality. I have seen children, young mothers, fathers and grandparents all lose the battle of illness. It never seems fair, but it is reality.
My son's friend will turn 11 years-old this week without his mom. She died in May from malignant melanoma at age 36. She left a husband and two children.
Life shouldn't be treated lightly. Our friends, family and co workers may not be here tomorrow. Treat people with dignity and respect. Life is a gift. Each morning we should awaken with thankfulness that we can live and breath. But who or what are we thankful to? That's something we need to think about.
Just a thought.

Atonement

2008-01-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

That was the title of the episode of ER last night. One of the story lines was about a man who had been a prison doctor. One of his duties was to administer lethal injections to the prisoners on death row. At the time, he felt he was doing a public service. The tide changed when a man he had "put to death" was found to be innocent months later. The guilt this doctor felt had consumed him. His life's quest became one of traveling to families of the men he "killed" to apologize and offer a way to "make up" or atone for what he had done.
He was in the ER because he had saved a boy from drowning in the icy waters. This boy was the son of a man he had executed. This doctor feared going to hell if this boy died. The doctor could not make up for the overwhelming guilt he felt. His works to God never seemed to be enough to atone for what he had done. The ER staff sent in the "chaplain" to talk with this doctor. This so-called chaplain is a beautiful New Age clergy who happens to be the new love interest of one of the main doctor characters. Her form of ministry is to make everyone feel good about everything. This doctor’s pleas for answers went unreturned by the chaplain. She continually offered punchy, feel-good statements. This doctor was in absolute spiritual agony and pleaded with her for answers. He needed to know whether he could ever obtain forgiveness from God for his sins. She gave him nothing and he told her that. He was so angry that he threw her out of the room and she fled in tears. I literally cheered at this point. I have been so sick of this New Age chaplain as a deceiver of the Lord!! ER made a strong point in my eyes.
Later, as she spoke with her love interest doctor, she made the statement that when people are in crisis, they want concrete answers; they want do's and don’ts. She admitted that she could not give this man what he needed.
Her form of "religion" is an empty deception that cons people into believing that they only need to feel good about everything to be in touch with their spiritual side.
Of course the show didn't bring in Jesus Christ, but it did reveal that New Age doesn't have the answers when it comes to the crunch in life.
This doctor could have had forgiveness through Christ. The burden of his guilt weighted him down like a mountain of rock. Christ is ready, willing and so very able to lift that mountain off the shoulders of the lost

Philippians Peace Promise

2008-01-15T22:53:00.000-05:00

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I think the Philippians peace promise certainly holds alot more weight than some of the peace treaties that have been out there in the past quarter century. Paul speaks of this peace promise from a jail cell. So if he could have this peace, why can't we experience that same peace? I certainly did yesterday.
I spent yesterday at St. Mary's hospital's cardiac catheterization lab with my husband. He underwent a catheterization to investigate the possible origin of some chest pain and fatigue he has been experiencing. The procedure itself presents certain risks, such as heart attack or stroke. The results of the procedure could mean and uncertain future and further medical intervention.

I had many friends and church family praying yesterday and it was evident. I felt the peace that surpasses understanding. I was not fearful waiting for Mike to come out of the cath lab. I was not even fearful of the possible diagnosis that could result.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” Philippians 4:7-9

Now the challenge begins. We received the diagnosis and the intervention means major surgery. I still have peace but when I sit and dwell on the uncertain future, I feel the fear set in. I fear for my husband, my children and myself. Life is changing before my eyes and there may be nothing that can be done to prevent some events from happening. My complete trust MUST me in the Lord who has promised this peace.

He has also reminded me by giving this verse today:
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." John 14:27

God is sovereign and He is in control. I take that control back with my moments of fear. I'm also thankful that He understands my human nature and the emotions that come with that nature. He will hold me and be my sustaining strength no matter what the future holds

Run the Race

2008-01-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

The Lord reminded me through the words of a friend today that we are to” run the race!” I knew it was from the Lord because the Holy Spirit convicted me at that moment those words were spoken.

Hebrews 12:1,2
"Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame, and haws sat down at the right hand of God's throne."
I ran across a Bible study on this verse. This author uses the analogy of the weigh of sin being like a “suitcase”. Let me share some of the points made:

“The most common suitcase is “the sin that so easily hinders our progress.” This doesn’t mean that you can’t run the race if you commit sins (we’d all be out of the race!)—it means that you can’t stay in the race long if you are clutching on to and rationalizing things that you know God says are wrong and destructive. When you’re clutching on to and rationalizing sexual immorality or substance abuse/dependence, it will sap your motivation and stamina. When you clutch on to and rationalize bitterness and hatred, it will sap your motivation and stamina (Eph.4:32 context). When you’re clutching on to and rationalizing things like materialistic greed, it will sap your motivation and stamina (Mk.4:18,19).

By distinguishing “the sin that so easily hinders our progress” from “every weight that slows you down,” the author implies that even things that are not overtly morally wrong can be suitcases that we need to lay aside—because they simply don’t fit into the course/race God has set before us. Early in my Christian life, I devoted a lot of time to creative writing. But at a certain point, God showed me that he wanted me to use most of my (very limited) creative talent to develop Bible teachings. I couldn’t do both to the extent that I wanted to, so I decided to drop most of the writing. And I haven’t regretted that decision. I was talking to a young brother recently who has decided that he needs to radically down-size his living situation so he can have more time and energy to devote to spiritual growth and service. It wasn’t a black and white moral issue—but God showed him that it was a weight that was slowing him down. Other such suitcases include: VIDEO GAMES; INTERNET SURFING; SHOPPING; SPORTS HOBBIES; TV/CABLE. Paul says these things may be lawful, but when they are enslaving you it’s time to put them down (1Cor.6:12)."
http://www.xenos.org/teachings/nt/hebrews/gary/heb12-1.htm

I certainly can name a suitcase or two that I have been carrying around lately. Today I had been holding onto a suitcase of bitterness. I'm not sure what caused me to pick that case up again, but I'm glad the Lord has reminded me that I need to put it down again to run this race!!

Potty Mouth

2008-01-04T19:28:00.000-05:00

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:4-7

I was reminded today by this verse just how much Christ loves me. Not only this verse, but a wonderful conversation with an old friend. I used to work with this friend at the hospital before I was a believer. Helen is a strong Christian and was very instrumental in my coming to faith in Christ. She was an example to me all those years. While chatting with her, she happened to remark about a "professional" that has a foul and crude mouth. Fortunately he doesn't do this in front of patients but it is hard to respect someone who speaks that way. I was reminded however, of my life before Christ. How much He has forgiven in me. I had a crude mouth and often made jokes and comments that had sexual innuendos. I shudder actually when I think of some of the things I talked about with my co workers and friends. Helen would have heard some of the things I said "back in the day", but she still showed love to me. She prayed for this lost woman to be convicted of her sin and to realize she needed a Savior! God answers prayer!
There was really nothing I could have done to change myself to become clean in His eyes. It was through His mercy that I was washed and made clean again. I know I am forgiven, even though I still mess up once in awhile, but His forgiveness is a guarantee. I am His. I am now justified by faith and have the hope of eternal life!!
Don't give up on people with a potty mouth! Pray for them! Show them love! It will make an eternal difference!!!

Flavour of the Month

2008-01-03T13:27:00.000-05:00

I often joke that Facebook is my current "Flavour of the Month.” It is the "new thing" that many are delving into and I don't want to miss the boat on the "in thing.”
I sometimes tend to be that way about a lot of things. I am what many call an "early adopter.” I am willing to give something a try because it seems appealing and works toward the greater good.
I think that I am becoming a little more guarded in my old age, because I am finding that I am less and less that way when it comes to things of the faith. A new book or a new method of worship has often been something that I have embraced. Let's try things a new way, because it can't hurt anything if it is to the glory of God and it just may bring someone to Christ! That is still true in my heart in many ways, but the Lord has cautioned me in being such an early adopter.
The Bible cautions us in these last days that Satan will try to lure us away from the Truth. First Timothy 4:1 says, "The Spirit speaketh expressly that, in the latter times, some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits."
Also 2 Peter 2:1 says"There were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who secretly shall bring in destructive heresies" Along with that Matthew 7:15 says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."
We have to be so careful when embracing new methods too quickly. Are we actually embracing false teaching? No, we are to test the spirits. John has outlined in 1:1-6 :
"Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit which confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit which does not confess Jesus is not of God. This is the spirit of antichrist, of which you heard that it was coming, and now it is in the world already. Little children, you are of God, and have overcome them; for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are of the world, therefore what they say is of the world, and the world listens to them. We are of God. Whoever knows God listens to us, and he who is not of God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error."
New things can be good but I don't think we really need a gimmick to sell Jesus. New programs or worship styles may be appealing and draw a few more people into our midst but we must not do so by compromising or watering down the Gospel to make it more palatable. Conviction of sin is necessary to ignite the process of salvation. In order to be saved we need to believe that we need to be saved. Without conviction of sin, we have nothing that we feel we need saving from, right?

Claim This Verse!!!

2007-12-29T22:05:00.001-05:00

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57
Another great "Verse of the Day" just happened to show up on my Facebook. Through Christ we can have victory over sin. Apart from Him we really can do nothing. Oh we can try and succeed to a certain extent but He has paid the price for us to have true victory. It is a day by day, moment by moment process. We get weak and fall back into that fallen nature.
The sinful way seems to be the easy way sometimes. When we are tired, we may snap back at our family when they ask a favor of us. We use the fatigue as an "excuse.” Matthew 4:1-4 says:
"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread. But He answered and said, "It is written, 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”
Did Christ fall into sin when he was tired, hungry and totally spent when He was in the desert? Satan tempted Him but He used Scripture as His defense against the enemy. He could have given in but He stood firm and remained faithful to the Father.
Of course He was without sin, but He certainly was tempted in the same way that you and I are tempted. Hebrews 4:15 says:
" For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin."
Then Hebrews 2:18 goes on to say that:
" For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted."
He knows the struggles that we go through because He has been there. I know I have a sense of peace when I share my struggles with someone who has gone through a similar experience. They understand because they have been in the same place I have. That is how we can relate to Christ. He is our confidante who has experienced the feelings of hunger, pain, helplessness, and loneliness. Let's look to Him for our example when we feel at our weakest. He will give us the strength we need to carry on.

Verse of the Day Picked Just for Me!!

2007-12-28T22:04:00.001-05:00

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
James 4:1-3

I always find it "funny" how a verse seems to be picked for you just at the right time and at the right place in your life. This one from James describes my day today. In my previous note I wrote earlier, I spoke of the Lord's revelation to me. It was an incident that happened today at work that brought me to a place of humility to receive what the Lord had to say to me.
There have been battles within me lately as James says, because I can't have what I seem to want. My motives have not been pure so the Lord will not allow me to receive based on those selfish motives. My soul has been in turmoil from the battles within me.
As always, God's timing is perfect. Another day, another time, I wouldn't have been able to receive from Him. My fallen nature placed me in a place where I could only look up.

Roller Coaster

2007-12-28T22:04:00.000-05:00

Today I realized something, or should I say the Lord revealed something to me. For about the last six months I have been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It may not seem that obvious to those around me but for those who live with me, it will be no surprise. It goes beyond moodiness. It is more about dealing with the core being of my soul. I can almost pinpoint the moment it began and while the incident itself is not all that significant, the results certainly are. I allowed that serpent to speak to me and I listened. Remember in the Garden when the serpent appealed to Eve's pride saying that if she ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, she would be like God. Satan appealed to my personal pride.
Several months ago someone made a comment concerning something I had said. I perceived this comment to be an attack on me personally. Normally my feeling of offense would not be longstanding and would have forgiven the person quite easily and quickly. I would not have made an issue of it. However, when the comment was played over by another person, I became prideful and defensive. That dirty rotten pride that's in all of us was birthed into a monster that day. I needed to defend myself. So this began a "series of unfortunate events" in the journey of my self defense.
I can see now that I became more suspicious of other people in my life. What was the real reason behind actions and comments. I became more negative and didn't seek the positive elements in a situation. I began to retreat into myself, spending more time alone in my own company. I see now that I didn't want to be around people for fear they would make me accountable and for my "perceived" protection. My church attendance has been more sporadic but because we have two services, minor absence is not as noticed.
I spoke my mind without hesitation and offended people. I felt righteous because I was defending myself. After all I am right and they are wrong.
I allowed pride to be my guide. I reacted to people and situations when previously, I would have assessed the situation and "acted" instead of “reacting” based on my emotions. Action opposed to reaction is the difference between being like Jesus and reacting out of my flesh. My example as an ambassador of Christ has been pathetic. How could my non Christians friends and family see Christ in me when I was self serving and prideful?
Since this was revealed to me today, I need to act on it. I need to confess (which is what this note is) and repent of this pride. I pray that I can get off this six-month roller coaster and stand

I Love This Verse!

2007-12-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

December 20, 2007
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35,38-39

This is my "Today's Verse" on my Facebook and it was a timely reminder for me. My last note reflected my feelings of uncertainty. Today I feel more certain. My circumstances haven't actually changed but I am more certain about the love my Savior has for me. Nothing that I can do or not do can change that love. The circumstances in my present or my future can't change that love either. He stays the same and His love is the same no matter what. It is often said that there are no guarantees in life but this is one guarantee that I would stake my life on.
I don't know what the next few days, weeks, months or years hold for my family, but I do know that my relationship with Christ is the glue that will hold us together no matter what the storm is.

Uncertainty

2007-12-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

I will admit. I am feeling uncertain about the future. Usually I am quite happy to rely upon the Lord and be at peace with what is ahead in life. I have lived that belief and felt quite confident in that faith.
Lately, that faith and belief are being tested. There are people and things in my life that may be here today and gone tomorrow. That is a reality I see so much in my work. I see it in the lives of others but haven't thought much of my own life and family being affected.
Roles seem to be shifting and I'm not comfortable with it. There are certain things that I feel responsible for and others that seem to be assumed by other members in the family. What if they aren't there anymore or are unable to assume those roles? That is where the role shift comes in. There is more responsibility and that's not something that was in the contract of life I signed up for, was it?
I know this note is vague and I guess it is intended to be. I need to rely on the Lord's strength in this and every area of my life but I am finding there are moments in my day that I get thinking about things and realize I'm afraid of what may be ahead.
I need peace.

The Gift of Giving

2007-12-03T22:02:00.000-05:00

My husband told me a heart warming story today. There is a man in town whose wife has terminal cancer. This woman is in her forties with young children so it is especially tragic. A man my husband knows, works with this gentleman. He is working a day and a half each week for the man whose wife is dying so he can take more time off without worry about finances. He is trying to convince others at the workplace to do the same. I'm not sure how successful he will be.
How many of us would do that?
I don't even know if this man is a Christian, but he certainly has a giving heart. If he isn't, I think it would put alot of Christians to shame. How often do we get so attached to the material things in our lives and we don't surrender them to the Lord?
I was truly blessed by that story and it has made me think about how I can reflect the heart of Christ more often.

Cry Me A River!

2007-11-26T22:01:00.000-05:00

I cry, I laugh, I get angry and I get depressed I'm an emotional person. I have always been that way and until today I never really gave it a second thought. I don't just cry when I'm sad, I also cry when I am happy or when I am listening or singing a worship song that the Lord uses to touch my heart.
It wasn't until today that I realized what an odd ball I am in my family. My parents and my brother are wonderful people, but they don't cry. Why do I cry? Crying was something that I did long before I gave my life to Christ, but certainly the Christian environment makes tears more acceptable than most communities. I'm not walking around blubbering all the time by any means but when I am hurt or sad I will sometimes express that emotion through tears. Yes, I have had pain in my life but so have my family from time to time, so that's not the reason I cry.
My family never used to hug either. We were never brought up to be demonstrative regarding emotions, but one day I decided that I was going to start hugging my parents when we would part company. I know that they were probably not comfortable with it in the beginning, but I think they are okay with me doing it now.
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the Bible. When Jesus arrived at the tomb where Lazarus had been for three days, He wept. Did He cry because His friend was dead? I don't really think that was the entire reason. He knew that He was going to raise Lazarus. I think He also cried because of Mary and Martha. In those days women depended on their fathers, brothers or husbands to support them. Since Mary and Martha only had their brother, his death would mean certain hardship for them. Jesus wept for that. Jesus wept for his friends.
I think if Jesus was comfortable to show His emotion by tears, it should be quite "okay" for us to express that emotion. I know not everyone is is comfortable showing their tears in front of others, and I respect that. I am comfortable with my emotional personality most of the time. It is the unique way that God has made me as it's obviously not a product of genetics

What A Day!

2007-11-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

I need to remember this verse today. I need to claim it and remember that I am under a microscope every day by the world. The world is watching us. They are examining our conduct in every situation. They may accuse us of wrong doing but they must never find any basis for the charges.
May I live a life worthy of the Lord I love.
Amen

November 20, 2007
Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. Finally these men said, "We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God."
Daniel 6:3-5

How Do We Repay Evil

2007-11-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

The natural man wants to repay evil for evil. When we are wronged, we want the other person to feel the same pain they have made us feel. I remember when my first marriage ended many years ago my world felt as if it was over. The pain that I had was beyond comprehension. It was as if a knife was stabbed in my heart. The pain was that real. Many nights I didn't sleep. I would wake up sobbing. Here I was a 27 year old single mother of a two year old. How would I survive? Who would want me now? As I wandered around at 2:00 am I rationalized in my victimized mind that I was feeling this pain because of him and I was awake because of him, so why should he be having a good nights sleep? I would then call my husband's number and hang up when he answered!!! There! I admit it! Thank goodness those were the days before call display. I'm sure he figured it out after I did it half a dozen times through those first few months. I wanted him to suffer in some way. I laugh about it now but isn't that how the world operates?
In our Sunday School today part of our lesson was on overcoming evil. The number one principle for overcoming evil is "Take the Offensive". Romans 12:21 says, "Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good". That's sometimes a tough thing to do. But like the lesson said, we can't defeat evil by focusing on the evil forces. Did my phone calling at 2:00 am do anything to my ex-husband in adultery? Not really. It probably just made him happier that he left me!
Evil is a real and powerful force. but it can be defeated by focusing on good. We don't have to fear evil. We don't have to fear Satan if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He has the victory over Satan by His death on the cross. Satan may seem powerful at times, but God's power is far greater.
If we are faced with a confrontation, the lesson states that we are to picture ourselves as "Rescued". 2 Timothy 4:18 says, "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen." and Galatians 1:4 says, "who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father"
The Lord wants us to have victory in our lives. If we stew and worry about the attacks of the enemy, we will be stuck in fear and victory will seem impossible. When I am tired and depressed, it is easy for me to listen to the lies of Satan. He will tell me I'm worthless and unworthy and I will start to believe him. Proclaiming the power of Christ is the way to overcome evil. Satan is a liar and a deceiver. He has lost this one and he knows it!!

My Prayer

2007-09-30T21:59:00.000-04:00

He's Not On His Knees Yet Lyrics
Artist(Band):Cece Winans

He doesn't know his worth
Wears the saddest smile on earth
But he denies it
Love is reaching out to him
But he won't let it in
He defies it
He defies it

He's not ready
He's not on his knees yet
He's too strong to be weak
Show him mercy
He's not on his knees yet
Let him break please
Make him better
Put the pieces back together

He thinks that he's alone
I have walked the road the he's on
And I know he's searching
Looking everywhere but up
He can't fill his empty cup
So he keeps hurting
He keeps hurting

He's not ready
He's not on his knees yet
He's too strong to be weak
Show him mercy
He's not on his knees yet
Let him break please
Make him better
Put the pieces back together
Help him please
He's not on his knees...
Yet

The Real Truth!

2007-09-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

One of the courses I'm taking this semester is called "Mental Health Challenges in Later Life". The following is from some of my reading. It is from the World Health Organization and I am not surprised by the numbers but many I know would be. Mental health issues and related illnesses are not to be ignored. They are real and real treatment is available.

World Health Organization
Mental Health

The bare facts:
Mental, neurological and behavioural disorders are common to all countries and cause immense suffering. People with these disorders are often subjected to social isolation, poor quality of life and increased mortality. These disorders are the cause of staggering economic and social costs.

Hundreds of millions of people worldwide are affected by mental, behavioural, neurological and substance use disorders. For example, estimates made by WHO in 2002 showed that 154 million people globally suffer from depression and 25 million people from schizophrenia; 91 million people are affected by alcohol use disorders and 15 million by drug use disorders. A recently published WHO report shows that 50 million people suffer from epilepsy and 24 million from Alzheimer and other dementias.

In addition to the above figures, many other disorders affect the nervous system or produce neurological sequelae. Projections based on a WHO study show that worldwide in 2005, 326 million people suffer from migraine; 61 million from cerebrovascular diseases; 18 million from neuroinfections or neurological sequelae of infections. Number of people with neurological sequelae of nutritional disorders and neuropathies (352 million) and neurological sequelae secondary to injuries (170 million) also add substantially to the above burden.

About 877,000 people die by suicide every year.

One in four patients visiting a health service has at least one mental, neurological or behavioural disorder but most of these disorders are neither diagnosed nor treated.

Mental illnesses affect and are affected by chronic conditions such as cancer, heart and cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and HIV/AIDS. Untreated, they bring about unhealthy behaviour, non-compliance with prescribed medical regimens, diminished immune functioning, and poor prognosis.

Cost-effective treatments exist for most disorders and, if correctly applied, could enable most of those affected to become functioning members of society.

Barriers to effective treatment of mental illness include lack of recognition of the seriousness of mental illness and lack of understanding about the benefits of services. Policy makers, insurance companies, health and labour policies, and the public at large – all discriminate between physical and mental problems.
Most middle and low-income countries devote less than 1% of their health expenditure to mental health. Consequently mental health policies, legislation, community care facilities, and treatments for people with mental illness are not given the priority they deserve.

Objectives
The Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse provides leadership and guidance for the achievement of two broad objectives: (a) closing the gap between what is needed and what is currently available to reduce the burden of mental disorders worldwide, and (b) promoting mental health. The recently launched mental health Global Action Programme (mhGAP) focuses on forging strategic partnerships to enhance countries’ capacity to combat stigma, reduce the burden of mental disorders and promote mental health.

The objectives are pursued through strong linkages within WHO, collaboration with regional and country offices and more than 100 collaborating centres around the world and through combined action in education, social welfare, justice, rural development, women’s affairs. We ensure that our policies and interventions are evidence-based and reflect our commitment to equity, ethics, human rights and gender equality.

When I think about the one in four figure, that means that several of my facebook "friends" have at least one mental health issue. It is time to reduce the stigma and if you haven't sought help, do it now. Your life and your family depend on it.

Computers Are Dangerous To Your Health!

2007-08-26T21:57:00.000-04:00

I have noticed something since I began a relationship with the computer world. My body has broken down!!!!
I guess it was about the time that Michael was born and I was at home more in the three years following. Believe it or not I had a 386 and surfed (or should I say dog paddled) the net. Since that time until now I have had to change my lens prescription to include bifocals!!! Some may say it is age....I think NOT!!!!
There has been a steady weight gain noticed too!!! There must be rays emitting from the computer that add on weight in areas that seem to be in range. Some say it's over eating and lack of exercise.....I think NOT!!!
I have had to have surgery on both of my wrists for carpal tunnel syndrome and this is the only repetitive task that I engage in. Thanks to my friend Gary Soenen my carpal tunnels are unsyndromed and I can type as fast as I talk again.......I think NOT!!! A new stumbling block has hit my relationship with my computer!!!!
The latest ailment to attack me from my computer is targeted to my right arm. The computer always attacks the most valued area of the body involved in its life.....the dominant extremity!!! From what I can gather, it is either tennis elbow or golfer's elbow but again is due to a repetitive task. There has been no tennis or golf played here!!! Why don't they call it Computer Elbow or Cyber Arm Syndrome??????
Perhaps a law suit to Bill Gates is in order to compensate for this continual breakdown.....after all he does have the monopoly on the business. Someone should have to pay for this!!!??? I think NOT!

I think I will just stay away from the knife this time try ice and motrin

The Dog Rescuer!

2007-08-24T21:56:00.000-04:00

Anyone who really knows me knows how much I love dogs. Animals, in general have always held a soft spot for me. Ever since I was a kid, I have had a special love for pets. I actually aspired to be a vet for many years, but found that I didn't have the grades to even get me close to the door. I do love being a nurse and it is where God has called me, but I still have the connection to animals. If any of those "traits" are passed down or learned, it has been from my Mom. She has a "connection" to animals that is even deeper than my own. I believe that the Lord has given us pets to demonstrate the unconditional love that He has for us. There isn't a human alive that has "unconditional" love. All human love has conditions attached to it. Dog's especially are so capable of that kind of love. I can have the worst day in the world and come home to a family that may not even acknowledge that I have come through the door. My trusty companions, my dogs, run to me like they haven't seen me in a year. They jump up and cover me with love and kisses. Some of you would say "yuck" but trust me, it's a good feeling.
Yesterday I found someone else's beloved pet. This beautiful black lab was wandering in a busy back streek intersection in town. While someone else stood with her, I drove home and got a leash. Down the street I went with this pet to find where her owners might be. No one seemed to recognize this dog so I brought her home to spend the night. She fit in to our home quite nicely like she had been there for years. I made some calls and posted an internet notice, but had to call the humane society. They were to come this morning but thankfully the owners found us. "Woody" (or as I named her Molly) has just moved to Simcoe from the Mississauga area this month and had wandered away. She is 11 years old and her "boy" had cried himself to sleep last night in fear that she may never return. He is a happy little guy now!! Praise God!
People ask why I do this. I have picked up a few wandering dogs or ones that appear to be in imminent danger to return them home. This is the reason why, for the little boys that cry at night over their lost dog. It is for the reason I hope that if my dogs went missing, another animal lover would find and take care of them and not just keep driving figuring someone else will look after it. Some think I'm crazy.......but I am .......The Dog Rescuer!!!!!!!

The Fantastic Four and the Rise of the Silver Surfer

2007-08-18T21:55:00.000-04:00

When we were in Toronto recently we decided one evening to watch an in house movie. Paying $12.99 for a movie is more than I would like to spend but this was vacation time and that was part of the fun. The Fantastic Four was agreed upon because my 10 year old wanted to see it. Since it is a movie based on a comic book series I thought it was safe.
For the most part the movie was fine. I was not impressed with the adult inuendos that were fired from time to time by the characters. Fortunately the were over my son's head but nonetheless, this is a movie that I'm sure most parents would feel is safe for a child. The basic "good vs evil" was well covered and had a good message in that regard. I was even able to point out some Biblical parallels to my son which was easy for him to apply.
The story surrounds how the Silver Surfer seeking out new planets with energy for Galactus feed off of in order to survive. It brought tears to my eyes when the force of Galactus comes to earth. It is much like how Satan himself feeds off of the energy of our earth and those who live and breathe here. He can suck the life force out of people for his own survival. Galactus roams like a lion to seek and destroy, much like the Adversary.
Like Satan, Galactus is destroyed in the movie (sorry for the spoiler). Silver Surfer gave his life in a sacrificical way, so the earth and it's people could survive.
Christ gave His life so that we could have life forever. Satan is defeated and he knows it. We have the advantage as believers to stand against his schemes that can steal the energy from us. We need to proclaim that more often. We need to live that so others can see the life saving Force that lives in each of us.

Does Grace Abounding give license to backsliding?

2007-08-18T21:54:00.000-04:00

I'm a fan of grace. If it wasn't for that amazing grace I would still be caught in a life of downward spiraling that had me out of control. I'm thankful for that amazing grace that made me realize that my life wasn't as "fun" as I thought it was. That my life wasn't not in my control as I thought it was. That I couldn't rely on "me" as I was broken and fallen and very far from perfect or ideal. I am still broken, fallen and far from perfect or ideal but I am forgiven. I realize that I am created by One that knows me far better than anyone has ever known me. This One that created me knows every secret sin I have ever commited and every temptation that I have encounterd. Some temptations I have given in to and others have been overcome only by the strength that He gives me.
I don't want to have that life I lived before. The uncertainty and darkness that I can now see I was in, is a far deeper pit than I ever want to be in again. It is not about depression so much as it was a lack of hope for the future. I could not see past my circumstances that were created out of my own selfish nature. I wanted to be number one. I had never felt that I was number one to anyone. I wanted to have my needs met first and formost. I was independent and the world celebrates a woman's indeprendence. So if I was celebrated and fufilling my own needs and desires, why was I so miserable inside? Serving self will never end. Serving self will continue, prevail and will never be enough. The hole will never be filled. It is like an empty abyss in a search for better, bigger and faster!
I still make some poor choices and I still give in to my selfish desires from time to time. These moments are fleeting and the Lord always reminds me in some way either subtle or direct that I need to keep Him first in my life. I hope never to choose to go back to that old life. I know others have. My heart breaks for them. My heart breaks for Him as He watches us turn our back on Him. The tears that flow from Him from our disobedience must flood the heavens above.
Do we turn our backs on the backsliden Christian? Do we steer clear or we might "catch" what they have? I think we all see an element of what we could be in that person. We sit back and judge them but we know not what has gone on in their life. We need to walk a mile in another man's shoes to truly see. We are not the judge and jury. Only the One who created us and died to save us is alble to make that judgement. I am a nurse and I can tell the smoker that his smoking is not good for him but he already knows that. However it is my job to be sure that he understands that. I guess that is the same as a Christian. The Christian choosing a lifestyle of disobedience knows they are making a poor choice. They often steer clear of other Christians in order not to be confronted or be accountable. Is it our "job" to point out, in love, that their current choice is unhealthy for them. I think it probably is. Alienation will not bring them back to a life of obedience but the concern of others might enable the Holy Spirit to begin to do a work in their heart.
I think I'm rambling........

So Long Self

2007-08-12T21:53:00.000-04:00

I have this song on my Ipod but the words just came alive to me yesterday. It is called So Long Self by the band Mercy Me. The words say it all for me.

"So Long Self"

Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

Stop right there because I know what you're thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Can't you see

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away

Reacting!

2007-08-06T21:52:00.000-04:00

Reacting!
By Mike Rule

Most of us in our flesh carry a habit of performing for others – always rising to what we think or feel is expected of us in any given situation. Internally, we know how we feel about ourselves: substandard, a failure, we don’t measure up, or there is something wrong with us. Externally, people unknowingly expect so much of us. The disparity between what we feel on the inside and what we expect on the outside causes our inner pressure to escalate.

For example, someone may say that he or she is disappointed with the way we handled a situation and we immediately react to them. There are several ways we can react, depending upon life experience and our unique personality. We may implode and become depressed, self-condemning, and maybe even suicidal. We might explode and get angry, yell at others, be rude or viscous toward others. Or, we may rise to the challenge and perform to what others expect just to prove that they are wrong. In any case, other people are knowingly or unknowingly controlling us. In reality, it is not other people that control us; it is our own emotions that take control. The moment emotions begin to control us, we have begun to walk in the flesh and not according to the Spirit. I did not say we are walking in the flesh when we begin to experience emotion. We are walking in the flesh when emotions begin to control us and make our choices for us.

When someone criticizes or questions us, we are not hearing the words; we are reacting to how the words make us feel. But Jesus calls us to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and not walk according to the flesh. Flesh is nothing more than the human soul (made up of mind, will, and emotion) under the influence or control of something other than Jesus Christ. When we cannot handle feeling particular things and therefore work to avoid those feelings, we are reacting to our feelings instead of responding to the Spirit.

Jesus calls us to let our emotions push us to Him (see 1 Peter 5:7). He calls us to respond to Him in all and through all. The reality is, when we react to what another person says or does all we are saying is that we already know how we feel about ourselves and we don’t want someone else reminding us about it. If we seek to avoid any situation where someone will be disappointed with us or criticize us, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled by someone other than Christ. Both reveling in and rejecting our feelings are reactions outside of Christ. We are free to feel what we feel…and respond to Him alone.

Verses for Reflection

“God lives fully in Christ. And you are fully grown because you belong to Christ, who is over every power and authority. Christ has also taken away your selfish desires, just as circumcision removes flesh from the body. And when you were baptized, it was the same as being buried with Christ. Then you were raised to life because you had faith in the power of God, who raised Christ from death. You were dead, because you were sinful and were not God’s people. But God let Christ make you alive, when He forgave all our sins. God wiped out the charges that were against us for disobeying the Law of Moses. He took them away and nailed them to the cross. There Christ defeated all powers and forces. He let the whole world see them being led away as prisoners when He celebrated His victory. Don’t let anyone tell you what you must eat or drink. Don’t let them say that you must celebrate the New Moon festival, the Sabbath, or any other festival. These things are only a shadow of what was to come. But Christ is real…” Colossians 2:9-17

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Freedom for the Frustrated!

...Jehovah has anointed (us) to preach the Gospel to the poor; He has sent (us) to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to preach the acceptable year of Jehovah and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to appoint to those who mourn in Zion, to give to them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the mantle of praise for the spirit of heaviness; so that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of Jehovah, that He might be glorified. (Isa 61:1-3

Harry Potter? Here we go again

2007-07-26T21:40:00.000-04:00

With the new Harry Potter movie and the last in the book series coming out this month, my mind has turned to this phenomenon again. I have not nor will I read the books. They do not interest me in the least. My son isn't interested in them either. Some may think that is strange for a 10 year old, but he is already a veracious reader. I might also add that I feel the Lord has given him a gift of discernment for such things too. I tend not to feel the books are "harmless". I always found it strange that young people who never read much more than a comic book would devour these books in a matter of hours or days. What is the draw? I have read enough about JK Rowling to have a high index of suspicion. Are these the only books out there that kids perhaps shouldn't be reading? No not at all. But I do think that the Bible is pretty clear about being involved in witchcraft and divination. I think participating in the phenomenon is glorifying the very practice that the Lord calls ABOMINABLE That's a pretty strong sentiment that God only reserves for the most disgusting practices. Of course, that is Old Testament, but I don't think Christ died so we could be free to learn about white magic. That's taking "Grace" to the tenth degree isn't it?

This is an excerpt from an article on Christiananswers.net which is a site I trust with alot of movie reviews, etc.

But in the Potter series, the line is not so clear. The "good" guys practice "white magic", while the bad guys practice the "Dark Arts". Readers become fascinated with the magic used (explained in remarkable detail). Yet God is clear in Scripture that any practice of magic is an "abomination" to him. God doesn't distinguish between "white" and "dark" magic since they both originate from the same source.

"There shall not be found among you anyone who …practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the LORD, and because of these abominations the LORD your God drives them out from before you. You shall be blameless before the LORD your God. For these nations which you will dispossess listened to soothsayers and diviners; but as for you, the LORD your God has not appointed such for you."

Deut. 18:10-14
Furthermore, if one were to use the reasoning that such objectionable material can be included in fantasy literature, then "that line of reasoning would tell you that you could include in fantasy any violence, pornography, whatever you wanted, and still defend those books by that very same statement." [11]

The problem is, witchcraft is not fantasy; it is a sinful reality in our world.

"J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, has gone through an awful lot of research. She is very accurate (otherwise we would have witches all over the country and the world saying 'this is not a true representation of our religion'.) This is a true representation of witchcraft, and the black arts, and black magic. And yet we have people that say this is merely fantasy and harmless reading for our children. Actually, what makes this more dangerous is that it is couched in fantasy language, and children's literature, and made to be humorous, and beautifully written and extremely provocative reading. and it just opens up children to want to have the next one. This is what is so harmful." [12]
Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged studies elements of Rowlings's imagery and writings, including the use of the "Potter" name in Pagan religion [13], shapechanging [14], meditation [15], human sacrifice [16], feminine power, Wicca (the religion of witchcraft) [17], the tools, spells and curses used in witchcraft [18], Christian youth and their involvement [19], communicating with the spirit world, reincarnation, situational ethics in witchcraft, the lightning bolt as a power symbol, broomsticks and witches' hats as phallic symbols, dabbling in divination and sorcery, recruitment, teaching children dark arts, Scholastic Inc.'s involvement, and more.

We can be sure that this video by Jeremiah Films, while probably the first of its kind to deal with Harry Potter from a biblical cautionary perspective, will not be the last. The Christian Booksellers Association's 13,000 member annual meeting in 2000 had a noticeable lack of anything Potter.

"Clara Sessoms, who manages Living Water Christian Books in Marion, Ind. [says] 'I don't think people fully realize what they're dealing with, and I think anyone who knows anything about spiritual warfare knows those books can open the door to spiritual bondage.' 'And I think it's worse that children are the target,' said Jessica Ruemler, a buyer for Living Water. 'It opens the doors for young minds. You put sorcery in, what do you expect to get out?'" [20]
Many concerned parents agree. According to the American Library Association, the best-selling Harry Potter series has topped the list of the nation's most frequently challenged books for two years in a row. Complaints rose 37 percent in the past year. [21] Author John Andrew Murray believes that…

"With the growing popularity of youth-oriented TV shows on witchcraft -- 'Sabrina, the Teenage Witch;' 'Charmed;' 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' -- a generation of children is becoming desensitized to the occult. But with Hollywood's help, Harry Potter will likely surpass all these influences, potentially reaping some grave spiritual consequences." [22]
Potter has caused quite a stir in many nations, with several Australian Christian schools supporting a banning of the books. "Dr. Chas. Gullo of the Christian Outreach College, a private school in Queensland state, said he read one chapter from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and was exposed to four murders. 'It was pretty gory,' Gullo said in Brisbane's Courier-Mail newspaper." [23] Rev. Robert Frisken of Christian Community Schools Ltd in Australia says: "The ordinary person is typified as being bad because they have no (magic) powers, and heroes are the people who are using the occult. Good finds itself in the occult, which is an inversion of morality for many Christian people" [24] Even many non-Christian parents have been concerned due to the greatly heightened fear that their younger children have after reading Potter's books. [25]

While some practicing Wiccans flatly deny any link between Potter's world and theirs [26], the evidence is undeniably clear that Potter promotes an interest in magic and the occult. Parents, whether Christian or not, must take an active role in what their children are being exposed to and determine what is appropriate. Christians especially should be guided by God's Word, the Bible.

Author Richard Abanes has written a book called Harry Potter and the Bible. He says that the movie and books not only teach anti-Christian lessons on the occult, but also moral relativism, and desensitize children to profanity and off-color humor.

So, what is a Christian to do? Ask, seek, and knock. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you lead your family in taking a biblical worldview of morality, seeking to please God (and not conform to man). Seek out what the Bible says about the occult (be sure to read our other articles) and how Christians are to react to it. And knock on the doors of your friends who may also be unsure what to do with Harry Potter. We highly recommend obtaining a copy of Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged to share with your family, your church, and others.

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/harrypotter.html

It's Not Fair!!!

2007-07-25T21:39:00.000-04:00

I have days (more than I care to admit) that I am feeling particulary emotionally immature and feel things in my life aren't fair.
It's not fair that I have had an unsaved husband for the full 11 years of my life in Christ, when other unsaved spouses have come to know the Lord much sooner than 11 years of praying!
It's not fair that our social life is practically non existent because of that unequal yoke!
It's not fair that my child is no longer walking with the Lord when there are other young people not raised with a Christian parent that are on fire for Christ!
Periodically I invite myself to my own little pity party and cry in my milk (since I don't drink beer anymore!!) The only thing about my pity party is that I am the only one there!! It's a lonely world to get so self absorbed and feel sorry for myself. At the time I feel entirely justified in feeling that way. I get this self righteous feeling that I am the only one dealing with these challenges. Of course that is so far from the truth. Many godly Christians I know deal with a family member who is not walking with the Lord. There are other women out there that have unsaved husbands who are just as lonely as I am. God knows our pain, but He doesn't want us to wallow in it.
He is my sufficiency. He keeps that unsaved loved one close to his breast like the lost sheep that has been found. When I get into my pity party moods, I feel like Peter walking on the water towards Christ. When I take my eyes of the Lord and on to my circumstances, I sink badly! I need to hand over and give over permanently my burdens to Him. He sees the big picture. He is fair and just. He will not give me anything that I can't handle. When I cast my eyes onto Him those truths in Scripture all make sense to me both in my head and in my heart. In those days where the depths of despair and lonlieness seem more than I can handle, He cries those tears I cry along with me.
We have a Savior that has experienced the human emotions we deal with so He can identify with us and be that reassurance to our soul.
Amen

Do We "Play the Field" or "Make a Committment"?Share

2007-07-22T21:38:00.000-04:00

My parents taught me about committment. They married back in January of 1962 and are still married today. There were times I wondered if they should be but their relationship has grown out of challenges and good times. Imagine how I felt when my first marriage ended in divorce. I was devastated. Not so much about losing my husband, but about not living up to the standards that I had set for myself. I couldn't work on a marriage when my partner wanted nothing to do with reconciliation. The results would have been futile. My second marriage has been different in that way. There are many challenges but my husband doesn't walk away when things don't go as planned.
I'm thankful that my relationship with Christ isn't like that. He never leaves me even though there are times I don't listen to Him. He is in it for the long haul. My church family reflects that sense of committment I have to Christ and to my marriage. I pray that my children see that modelling of committment in all of my relationships. I have been with Evergreen for over 11 years now. God led me to that church and I am glad He did. There have been times where I have not been happy. Where things didn't always go my way. But it isn't all about me. There is a family to consider and to leave that family would fracture the Body. It is about what I can give to that Body and what I can learn from it as I submit to it's leadership.
Too often the 21st Century church reflects the 21st Century relationship committment trend. When things don't make us happy in a relationship, we can leave. It's that easy in a marriage and it seems to be that easy in our church affiliations. At least in evangelical circles. A Barna report suggests that evangelical church growth is less about reaching the unchurched and more about receiving church hoppers. Fatigued leadership is ready with open arms to receive "mature Christians" as a life saver of sorts. Unless these people are "new in town" perhaps these leaders need to discern whether or not there may be some unresolved conflict with these travellers.
I have an aunt who has been with four churches in the last 10 years. There always seems to be something "wrong" with the fellowship after a couple of years for her. It is coming up about 2 years for her current church, so time will tell.
When conflict has not been resolved in one church family, it will follow us wherever we go. We can't expect people to give us only what Christ can. Christ uses people to reflect His love but people are not perfect. Soon the experiene of dating a church gets old very fast and reality hits. Unless we are committed for the long haul, we will get bored and disssatisfied. Then it's time to move again.
I'm so glad that I have had a few godly friends that have kept me humble. I also thank God the one time I did seek to leave Evergreen. He was very direct at telling me I was to stay. The growth and healing that I have experienced would never have happened had I listened to my flesh.

http://www.mercurynews.com/opinion/ci_6320678

When Will The World See?

2007-07-16T21:37:00.000-04:00

I love that old song by Petra.

We Need Jesus

When will the world
See that we need Jesus?
If we open our eyes
We will all realize
That He loves us
When will the world
See that we need Jesus?
When our hearts are as one
And believe that He’s the Son of our God.

That’s just the first verse but it says it all to me. I was thinking of it today when visiting a client and his wife. Their world is so uncertain now and she wept over fear of the future. Will she be alone soon or will there be a miracle? I asked them if they had a faith background they could draw from, but that door was closed. They never felt the need and not even now.
My heart aches for them as they need some kind of hope but are not finding it in this world or the people in it. Their need for Divine intervention is so obvious to me but is foreign to them. They are such wonderful people with a good sense of family, commitment and love, but apart from Him who created them. I prayed as I left them. There was no quest in their heart for Christ, but I know they have sensed His presence. They spoke of their connection to nature and their home that they claim as their sanctuary. When troubles have surfaced in the past that connection to nature in a star lit night has given answers to the days problems. Is that the Lord trying to connect on a level they can identify? I'm not sure. Creation cries out with God's workmanship. But there are so many people wandering in His creation with no direction.
Being a Christian is not about perfection or the ideal solution, but I still remember the days of feeling so uncertain about the future. It wasn't about the possibility of death but more about the uncertainty of the steps I would take and the fear that accompanied that. Fear of the future can be paralyzing and can cause anxiety that swallows your entire being. Now my steps are set by the Lord. My purpose in life is to follow Him in those steps. The future is still uncertain in so many ways, but trusting Him has taken the fear and anxiety away. I know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Each moment can be a Divine appointment and how we use that time can make a difference for eternity.
I am not perfect by any means, but I have a hope that cannot be shaken no matter how hard Satan tries to shake my world apart. We all need that hope. We all need to be able to give those burdens in our heart over to Him.
I pray that for my family, my friends and my clients facing loss and tragedy.

Hard To Believe It

2007-07-04T21:36:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that my little girl will be 20 years old on Friday. It seems like "yesterday" she was bouncing around the kitchen with her blonde hair waving as she moved. Hey! That was yesterday!!! All kidding aside, the years have gone by so quickly. I know that sounds like a cliche that you hear every parent say but it is so true.
It hasn't always been easy though. When I gave birth to her on that blistering hot July morning, my dreams for her were so different than how things turned out. I never thought that after two years, we would be facing the world alone. My dreams for a complete family including her father were changed beyond my control. The difficult relationships that sometimes come with split and blended families caused my daughter not to remember much of her young life. When I speak now of memories in her early years, she has to rely on my rendition and a few pictures available, as she has no recollection of the events. It saddens me that even though there were difficult times in those years, there were also times of rejoicing.
I have to believe that the Lord has blurred some of those memories as a protective mechanism. There are many decisions I wish I had made differently as I reflect on them now. Seeing the past with the eyes Christ has given me, enables me to re-evaluate and change my parenting now. In my own pain and insecurities back then I made some selfish decisions. I know I was a good parent to Jessica as I did and still love her dearly. I did the best I could with what I had back then.
The absence of her father from time to time, for weeks and months at a time was not healthy for her emotionally. It has only been recently that Mike has realized his role as a father in her life holds great value. I praise God that has changed in the last year and redemption of their relationship has been realized.
God has His hands on her. He has kept her safe in situations that should have been devastating. He is not giving up on her and will complete the good work that He began many years ago. I love my girl more than she will maybe ever comprehend. We have a bond that goes back 20 years and 9 months! That bond between a mother and child cannot be broken no matter how hard that relationship is tested.
Thank you Lord for Jessica and may you continue to hold her close to You.

Exposed!!

2007-07-03T21:35:00.000-04:00

Facebook, can be much like a blog. I have a blog that I don't write on anymore but I used to share some thoughts that I had swirling around in my head. I have had that opportunity with Facebook too. I have also been able to talk and comment to others in a semi-anonymous way. I say, "Semi-anonymous" because much of the discourse that I have shared with others is often things I would find difficult to formulate and discuss in person. Cyberspace seems to have a little "safety net" of sorts. You can be the person perhaps you have not had to courage to be with someone face to face. That can be a good thing in many ways. You can share your inner most thoughts online that give you the avenue to vent feelings and frustrations without feeling totally exposed. This can be healthy, but it can also be confrontational. Once you press "send" in an email or "enter" in a submission, it is done. Tone of voice or explanation of points is only assumed and it can be taken in a negative way depending on the reader's present state of mind or emotion.
There are sometimes things that a person would love to share with the world but don't want to feel that exposed. It is like presenting yourself emotionally naked to the world. I can come to church meeting people on a Sunday with my smile intact and I could be screaming in severe emotional pain on the inside. Feeling lonely and so alone in a room crowded with people. We never know the pain people feel on the inside by looking at the outside (unless you are Judy Heidt!!..she knows by your eyes!) What may appear as physical and emotional perfection could effectively be well constructed walls developed over years of pain and rejection. I'm not saying that we have to open ourselves up for the world to peer in at our wounds, but perhaps if we allow some people into our lives and see the real person inside, the loneliness would be less intense.
This is a journey I am on personally. People may think I am a pretty open book, which may be true to a certain extent, but I know I have walls. I hesitate to share the "real me" with others because of my own fear of rejection. It is safe to have walls, I have felt protected, but I believe the Lord wants us to bear one another's burdens. To develop trust we need to begin to share. It's not about airing your dirty laundry but it is about developing relationships in the family of God. A family is about relationships and they only happen when we learn to bear those burdens for our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Can We Forgive Without Love?

2007-06-27T21:34:00.000-04:00

We as Christians are constantly taught that we are to forgive. When people have hurt us, we need to forgive them. This doesn't absolve them of the hurt they have caused us, but it frees us from bondage to bitterness and resentment. Sometimes this is easier said than done. We have all been hurt by someone at one time or another. That hurt can lie deep in our heart when we have been stripped naked of our outer wall that we thought would protect our feelings. It can be like a knife through our soul. So how can we really forgive someone. It can't be done on our own. We need to see the other person as Christ does. He loves them with infinite worth, no matter what their sin. Again, we are "commanded" to love. We see this in Leviticus 19:18

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD."

It is echoed in the New Testament. Christ knows how difficult it is for us to love and forgive those who have wronged us. In Matthew 18:21-22 it says:
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

When the teachers of the law were trying to trip Jesus up, again our Lord knew the greatest command involved love in Matthew 22:35-40:

"One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

There are consequences of unforgiveness in our lives. When Christ taught us to pray in Matthew 6:14-1514 he included the price of unforgiveness:

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

If you have unforgiveness in your heart for someone who has hurt you, ask the Lord to give you love for them so that you can be free from bitterness and resentment.

I don't personally believe that true forgiveness is possible apart from Jesus Christ. He is the only one that can supply you with love for others and the ability to see them with the eternal eyes of heaven. Only then will you realize how much the other person means to the Lord and forgiveness is no longer a choice.

Love?

2007-06-25T21:33:00.000-04:00

I have been pondering the word "love". Is it a feeling, a mood, a seduction? Can we love on command? Does love belong to us or does it only come alive when we give it away? What does the Lord say about love? Since God is love is all love of God? Well no, not in the world's eyes.
Is unconditional love possible by people in a fallen world or does it only come from God?
I referenced the word "love" in the New Testament and it is cited 198 times. Some of these references are about how God's love but many of them are commands for "us" to love one another. It is what defines us as Christians and separates us from the world, it makes us holy. I guess that means we are to love on command. I guess that means it is a non negotiable command to love through Christ? I'm going to be on a journey with this one as it has been my new challenge.

Matthew 22:34-40
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Love

2007-06-25T21:32:00.000-04:00

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,
but have not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies,
they will cease;
where there are tongues,
they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge,
it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes,
the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child,
I talked like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man,
I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

Scripture is the most beautiful poetry. 1Corinthians 13 is a chapter often quoted at weddings. It means so much more than a wedding promise to me. As a Christian I need to emulate the qualities of this chapter.
I remember many years ago in a care group, we were required to substitute our own name where ever the word "love" or "it" (reference to love) appeared in verses 4 to 6. Try it. It is a very humbling experience.

Cynicism is not a spiritual gift? by David Burchett

2007-05-17T21:28:00.000-04:00

Cynicism is not a spiritual gift?
David Burchett
Cynicism is not missing from the Bible texts. For example, Job’s response to his buddy Zophar smacks of cynicism.

“You people really know everything, don’t you?
And when you die, wisdom will die with you! NLT Job 12

Job throws down a “you people” to Zophar and his two compadres. I don’t think that Job really thought wisdom would die with the passing of his three friends. I would classify that as a cynical remark. What I struggle with is that cynicism is never listed (even in the apocryphal books) as a spiritual gift. My one chance to move to the head of the class! Denied.

Recently I spotted a T-Shirt that conveys a sad truth.

I’m not cynical. I’m just experienced.

I receive a pretty steady stream of correspondence from “experienced” Christians who are fighting cynicism. This recent email is typical.

I'm a cynic by nature. I recognize human failings (especially the stupidity in myself) and I am amazed by the concept of grace and mercy - the idea that the Almighty would humble Himself to reach out to faulty, fallen beings is an awesome one. However, I noticed that with each passing year, as I see more and more of those failings I am getting more hardened with each passing experience.

It was my prayer years ago that as even as I see the reality of what is around us, I will still do good anyway, still love people anyway, and still believe in them anyway. I'm still trying hard, but I find it hard to keep myself "tender". (please excuse the churchianty jargon. I have a rabid dislike for religious jargon in everyday communications, but it seemed appropriate for this occasion)

How do you keep yourself from becoming hardened or from being overwhelmed by cynicism?

(Name withheld to protect cynical identity)

First of all, it is okay to use churchianity jargon with me. I am bilingual – I speak Christian as a second language. So I know that being “tender” means keeping your attitude toward others loving and kind even when they behave like the south end of a north bound horse. Writer P.J.O’Rourke once said that “"making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope." And it can be just as easy to get angry at Christians who don’t seem to have read any of the things that Jesus said (conveniently in red letters) in the Bible.

So how do I keep myself from becoming hardened? I tried a cynics support group (Mott Like I need YOUR support). That didn’t work. The truth is I don’t always keep myself from becoming hardened to people who are acting like Bad Christians. That is an ongoing process and I suspect I will be busy working on this till Jesus comes.

Here are a few things that I have learned so far in my journey.

I am the wretch that the song is talking about. When I finally put aside my pride long enough to do some honest self-examination I realized how far I was missing the mark and how amazing His grace is to accept me in my “as-is” condition. Realization of your spiritual weakness is not weakness. In the mystic dichotomy of God’s grace and justice acknowledging weakness is an act of incredible strength. I told a buddy this week that the day I finally admitted I was just an idiot saved by grace was the day I began to actually grow in Christ.

I need to focus on Jesus. I get my undergarments misaligned when somebody says or writes a negative thing about me. But I have learned (with varying degrees of success) to focus on Jesus. Imagine if you had poured every ounce of your strength for three years into a person. And then that friend, at the moment of truth, turns his back on you, denies that you are a friend, and runs away. Not one denial of your friendship. Three times. And that person you had given everything to cursed as he threw you under the bus. How would I respond to that kind of friend? It is possible I would need a seven second delay to edit my comments for family viewing. That is what Peter did to Jesus. But what did Jesus do? He forgave Peter and He restored him.

I don’t have any idea what other people are going through. There is a powerful song by the country group Sawyer Brown about how infrequently we stop to consider that other people might be enduring real trials. Here is a sample of the lyrics from the song “They Don’t Understand”.
Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurried up trying to make a dream come true
They don't understand
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
'Cause you never really know what your neighbors going through
They don't understand

I remember driving away from one of Joni’s early doctor appointments after her breast cancer diagnosis. Joni was driving her car as I followed her. She was distracted (imagine that) and missed her turn. She drove forward to the next opportunity to turn left and double back. Because she temporarily blocked the left lane a guy laid on his horn and started gesturing. I remembering thinking that this guy was not a quality human being (rough translation). I wondered if it would make a difference in the attitude of this, uhhh, not really nice homosapian if he knew what was going through my wife’s mind. He was busy worrying about his 20 second delay as she was thinking about her health, her family, her job, and maybe her life. So I try to step back, breathe, and ask for patience.

Finally, I look in the mirror. What I see there is a man who is capable of nearly everything I get angry about with others. And I am humbled again that somehow God is patient with me as I work this out. Regular readers know of my admiration for the group Casting Crowns. The song “Who Am I” comes to mind in this context.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Take a moment to meditate on that. Then take a moment to meditate on a later verse.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

That God sees my sin and looks on me with love is mind boggling. How can I accept that love and not at least attempt to offer it to others? Because there is not a (Christian cussing warning) dang thing that I have done to deserve mercy like that. From a human perspective that person who incites cynicism probably doesn’t “deserve” grace. But did you? Did I?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

So I guess that is the game-plan of how I try to not get hardened and cynical. Realizing who I am (a sinner) and what He has done. Focus on the One who understands rejection and suffering. Realize that others may be enduring real trials of their own. And understand that the God who sees my sin still looks on me with love.

On some days I execute the game-plan better than others. But that doesn’t mean it is not a good plan. It just means I have to spend more time in the playbook and with my Coach.

Dave Burchett is an Emmy Award winning television sports director, author, and Christian speaker. He is the author of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People and Bring'em Back Alive: A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church. You can reply by linking through daveburchett.com.

Find this article at: http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/dburchett/11541039

Emotional Maturity

2006-11-14T07:13:00.000-05:00

I ran across this web page that is loosely connected to A.A. While reading through the points that describe someone who is emotionally mature, it made me realize that this also describes someone who is spiritually mature in Christ. It also humbled me to realize that I need to work on a couple of factors in my own life.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY
The mature person has developed attitudes in relation to himself and his environment which have lifted him above "childishness" in thought and behavior.
Some of the characteristics of the person who has achieved true adulthood are suggested here:
1. He accepts criticism gratefully, being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve.
2. He does not indulge in self-pity. He has begun to feel the laws of compensation operating in all life.
3. He does not expect special consideration from anyone.
4. He controls his temper.
5. He meets emergencies with poise.
6. His feelings are not easily hurt.
7. He accepts the responsibility of his own actions without trying to "alibi."
8. He has outgrown the "all or nothing" stage. He recognizes that no person or situation is wholly good or wholly bad, and he begins to appreciate the Golden Mean.
9. He is not impatient at reasonable delays. He has learned that he is not the arbiter of the universe and that he must often adjust himself to other people and their convenience.
10. He is a good loser. He can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining.
11. He does not worry about things he cannot help.
12. He is not given to boasting or "showing off" in socially unacceptable ways.
13. He is honestly glad when others enjoy success or good fortune. He has outgrown envy and jealousy.
14. He is open-minded enough to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of others.
15. He is not a chronic "fault-finder."
16. He plans things in advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment.

Skywriter

2006-09-26T22:29:00.001-04:00

While we were in Florida we noticed that three afternoons in a row there was a busy skywriter sharing a message of the Lord in the skies. I had one day where I felt particularly weary and that was the first day I looked up and saw the message "Jesus Loves You" Here is a sample of some of his work.

Tonight I did a search on the internet to find out more about this evangelist and found a really interesting article on the man called by God to "Fill the skies with His praises".
http://www.flcath.org/articles/2005/050819/050819-pb-acepilotforchrist.htm
It certainly causes quite a stir but a good one!! Bless you Jerry Stevens!!!

Disney World Florida

2006-09-26T18:13:00.000-04:00

We went to Disney World in Florida from September 18th to the 24th. God really did some wonderful healing during that trip with my daughter and my husband. They don't even realize the force that heals them. Clue: it wasn't a Star Wars force it was the Greatest Strength and Force in Jesus Christ.

Disney is an amazing place. Here is one picture and for more go to:
Photo Album

God is so faithful

2006-08-26T09:18:00.000-04:00

Today is my 44th birthday. There was a time when I would get all wound up and expect others to run to me and wish me a year of happiness. I guess I'm at an age now where birthdays are not such a big deal anymore. I am not really in need of any material possessions to wish for a certain gift. I have all that I really need that way in life. I feel blessed in many ways as God has been busy working a couple of miracles in our home. My husband has realized the importance his role in my daughter's life actually is. He has a softened heart for her. He is seeing her through the eyes of Jesus (he would never realize that though!). He sees her pain of her own absent father. Her need for unconditional love and approval. He sees that this may have led to her behavior of the last couple of years or more. He also has acknowledged that he has been no support to me in dealing with these trails in the past. God is good.
My prodical daughter also has experienced some change. She has been infected with Epstein Barr Virus, otherwise known as Mononeucliosis. My party girl will be grounded for a few weeks. Please pray that God will reveal Himself to her at this time and that she will receive His love.
Not that I needed confirmation, but these events of late confirm His words to me about my daughter not moving out on her own. She isn't supposed to leave so that both she and my husband can experience healing.
He is so faithful!!

REMARKABLY GOOD NEWS FROM IRAQ

2006-08-14T10:07:00.000-04:00

I have checked and this article is authentic. Continue to pray for the people of Iraq.

REMARKABLY GOOD NEWS FROM IRAQ

By Joel C. Rosenberg

(WASHINGTON, D.C., May 23, 2006) -- Unprecedented religious freedom has finally come to Iraq because of U.S. military action there, and more Iraqi Muslims are becoming followers of Jesus Christ today than at any other time in the history of the country.

That was the message delivered by retired Iraqi General Georges Sada last night at a private dinner just outside of Washington, D.C., and then at McLean Bible Church in northern Virginia where Sada spoke to more than 1,000 people.

Sada and I first met by phone in March when I interviewed him for EPICENTER, the non-fiction book I'm writing about the future of the Middle East. Intrigued by his remarkable personal story, I invited him to come Washington to share his experiences and perspective with our congregation. It was an extraordinary evening.

Sada described in detail how Saddam moved stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction to Syria in the summer of 2002, a story that is now being closely analyzed by the CIA, DIA and Congressional intelligence committees. He received an emotional ovation when he described how he refused to execute U.S. and British prisoners of war in 1991, despite direct orders by Qusay Hussein, Saddam's son. That move led to his dismissal from the military in February 1991, though -- thank God -- not to his own execution.

Just as moving where the stories Sada shared about what God is doing in Iraq today. Such stories are rarely told in the American press, though the Washington Times, to their credit, covered Sada's visit, and ran an excellent front-page story this morning. [See below]

The Kurds in the north of Iraq, for example, are especially receptive to the gospel message and are converting to Christianity "by the hundreds," Sada reported. One evangelical church recently started in Kurdistan now has more than 800 people worshipping there every week, most of whom are new converts from Islam. Sada told me that some 5,000 Iraqis have publicly identified themselves as new followers of Christ since Iraq was liberated, and that an estimated eight out ten Iraqi believers say they converted because Jesus appeared to them in dreams or visions.

In a new and very positive development, Nechirvan Barzani, the prime minister of Kurdistan Regional Government in Irbil, has vowed to protect the ancient Assyrian Christian community there as well as new believers from persecution and violence. Sada and Dr. Terry Law, president of World Compassion, a Christian relief organization based in Oklahoma, met with Barzani last week. "I would rather see a Muslim become a Christian than a radical Muslim," Barzani told them, an absolutely remarkable statement by a Muslim leader in a land wracked by sectarian violence,

One of the things I found most inspiring was when Sada said that Saddam Hussein's throne room in his main palace in Baghdad had been turned into an evangelical church after the war. Once Saddam used that room to order thousands of people to be executed, but now the name of Jesus Christ -- the King of kings and the Lord of lords -- is praised there instead. (I know e3 staff who have worshiped there -- Linda) Sada also said tens of thousands of Bibles were being printed in Iraq. Thousands more are being shipped into Iraq, and Christian programming is now available to Iraqis on satellite television.

Sada, a former air force fighter pilot who once served as a senior military advisor to Saddam Hussein, became the chief spokesman for Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi during the interim government, just after the war. Now he serves as a senior national security advisor to Iraqi President Jalal Talabani and has been helping redesign the new Iraqi military, along with his efforts to strengthen the Christian church in Iraq. His recent best-selling book, Saddam's Secrets: How an Iraqi General Defied and Survived Saddam Hussein, is an absolutely fascinating description of how Sada became a follower of Christ, rose through the ranks of the Iraqi Air Force, ended up working so closely with Saddam, and now works for peace and reconciliation in the name of Jesus.

Sada concluded the evening with a heart-felt message of thanks to the American people for liberating his country and said all peace-loving people should "kneel down and thank the [American] mothers and fathers who have sacrificed their sons and daughters for the sake of freedom in Iraq." He asked for patience as Iraq's fledgling democracy builds a foundation and finds its way. But he also said there is far more good news in Iraq today than is being reported by the national news media.

Why is he taking such risks to share the good news? I asked him. "There is an Arab proverb which says, 'Don't be a mute Satan,'" he told me. "If you know the truth, you have an obligation to tell everyone."

Erie Shores Wind Farm

2006-07-09T22:02:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, which was Canada Day, we went for a drive to the wind farm about 30 minutes from our home. I found it to be breath taking. These pictures do not capture the beauty of these windmills. For more information check out:
Erie Shores Wind Farm

This Requires a Miracle!

2006-07-09T08:19:00.000-04:00

Over the last few weeks, we have been having several challenges to deal with in regards to my teenage daughter. Her goal has been to move out of the house when she turned 19, which was on the 6th. Her lifestyle and friends have been in conflict with ours for these several weeks. Ironically, this lifestyle change in her life has also coincided with the absence of any contact with her father. This is not the first time this has happened. When she was 16 there was an 18 month period that her father chose not to have any contact with her. While I don't "blame" her poor choices on him, there is ample evidence to suggest that a father's presence is cruicial in a child's life. The acceptance and nurturing helps to shape a young woman or a young man's personality.
That being said, the latest choice to move out has taken on several scenerios. First, she was moving in with another girlfriend and the fact that my daughter no long had a job didn't seem to be an obstacle. This fact has now changed and that door has been closed. The latest goal has been to move in with "several" people of questionable character in a lakeside town near here. Last night I decided in a moment of despiration, to call her father. I asked him if it were possible that she come and stay with him just for a few days. I could hear the hesitation in his voice. I shared the challenges that we have been dealing with. He has not seen his daughter since February and only lives an hour away. He spoke with her on the phone and essentially told her that this was not an option. She was quite upset when she got off of the phone. She no longer wants to call him "Dad" as she feels that his allegiance is to his new (and third) wife and her three children. In all honesty he has not really been a father to her since she was 5. The rejection in her voice was certainly evident. I'm not sure how a parent can reject a child like that but this has certainly not been the first time.
While in the pool last night, I was praying to the Lord and asking Him why all of these doors for her to move out are being closed? He spoke to me in a still small voice saying, "Because she isn't supposed to leave." I was shocked. I really felt that her leaving was going to be the answer to the turmoil in our family. It is what she wanted and we were wanting that too. My husband's statement is, "If she doens't move out, I will!".
So Lord, you have to do a miracle here. Not only will you need to soften my husband's heart to have compassion for my daughter, but you also have to change the heart of my daughter. She needs to change her lifestyle and get onto a track of right living.
I have to say, the task seems daunting. This has been an uphill battle from day one. But I have to say that something changed in me last night. I can't put it into words just now, but there is more peace. I slept better last night than I had in ages. I feel a love for my husband that I haven't felt in weeks. A new hope in my daughter's life has caused me not to feel so defeated and hopeless about her future.
I guess He has already performed one miracle and that is in me.

Graduation Day

2006-06-29T21:48:00.000-04:00

Well, my dear daughter graduated from high school last night. What started as a bitter sweet decision on her part to actually attend and participate, turned into a beautiful, but long evening. Having attended a Roman Catholic High School, the ceremony was bathed in prayer with a special message from the parish priest. Thankfully Mother Mary wasn't mentioned. As much as I don't agree with some aspects of the Catholic faith and the whole mariology, there are many similarities. The priest shared about the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Truth that he said lived within "us". Of course I interpret that as "born again" Christians, but I know that is not the jest of what those of the Catholic faith believe. He spoke of following the Spirit of Truth in our lives and putting Jesus Christ at the center. I appreciated the message but it was unfortunate that many of the graduates probably thought that is was a long and boring message that they didn't understand. I don't doubt that there are some regenerated Christians in their midst that would receive that message, but on the whole I'm guessing that the over 1000 guests that were in attendance may not understand the meaning. Generous claims put Christians in Canada at around 15%. I hesitate to guess that that number is more like 2% of the population that profess to be born again Christians. Certainly the minority in many ways. That said, I still appreciated the Christian flavor at the ceremony compared to the public board. Of course both high schools in our town had their graduations and even though the Catholic kids received the message of Christ, many of them still went to the massive grad party that lasted into the morning just like their public high school friends. Pretty hard to be "holy" and "set apart" when there is little difference in life style.
I feel for the kids of today and especially if they are trying to be "set apart". The "World" tells our kids that as long as they practice "safe sex" they can do as they please. Alcohol and drugs are a way of life and the more the better. Satan is having a hay day with our young people. He is successful at deceiving the majority of them. No child is completely safe and immune from falling into sin. We deceive ourselves if we think they are. The most sheltered and indoctrinated child can develop a twinge of curiousity that will cause them to stumble. Certainly I believe that the Christian home has a better foundation to steer clear of Satan, but we always have to be on guard and stand in the gap for our kids. Praying hedges of protection when our children are not in our midst is crucial at every age. Television and internet have opened up a whole new avenue for temptation. Even the most complicated of internet filters can be overcome by the devious mind.
I think I have gone into a bit of a rant here, but I guess it comes with the territory of being the mom of a teenager. Praying for and handing over my child to the Lord on a daily basis is a priority that I need to be more committed to.

What's In a Dream?

2006-06-24T22:27:00.000-04:00

Today I was chatting with my Mother on MSN and she happened to share that she had a dream about me last night. With a giggle I asked her what the dream was about. She replied that in the dream I was in the "Witness Protection Program". I laughed out loud at that one. What would I ever have to testify to in order that I would have to be protected or even change my identity and move away from my friends and family? A frightening thought when I really think about it actually.
Then my Mom clarified the dream. She said that "I" was the witness and "God" was my protection. That statement stopped me in my typing tracks. I wasn't able to chat more with her and discover more details, but I have pondered that statement through the day. Am I a true "witness" for the Lord and do I rest in His protection and love the way I should. Do I often, if ever, step out of my comfort zone as a witness for Christ knowing that He is with me each step of the way?
I will keep you posted as to the rest of the meaning of Mom's dream but for know I will continue to ponder how the Lord wants me to grow from that statement.

May God be Glorified!

2006-06-20T17:31:00.000-04:00

Today was the day that we said our goodbyes to our brother and friend, Murray. I guess "goodbye" is actually not an good word, but more like, "See you later dude!" would suit Murray more accurately. Murray is with Jesus and the Lord actually gave me a funny word picture during the service. The picture was of Murray jumping in the air and clicking his heels in an Irish Jig type fashion. I shared it with my friend beside me and we both had a little giggle, because that suited Murray. My friend shared a much closer bond with him and because of that, this friend needs our prayers. My friend is a fairly new believer and the whole "eternity thing" isn't quite as solidified as it may be with a more seasoned Christian. Murray's absence will leave an emptiness in this person's life. This emptiness can only be filled with Jesus Christ. We can try to fill it with friends or work or family, but none will ever satisfy the longing we have for the Lord.
Our pastor did a wonderful job of delivering the message today. He shared the life, struggles and victories of Murray's life. The Gospel was presented clearly. The majority of people there were believers. You could tell that due to the absence of alot of sobbing during the service. Jesus Christ is the hope of every believer and heaven is our longing and our true home.
Murray's family are also believers. God's grace and forgiveness was such a powerful force following the service that I sit again in true awe and wonder of His awesome love.
Tomorrow night we will meet for our care group as we normally would. Murray's absence will be evident. He would want everyone to go on. He would want us to expereince a closer relationship with Christ and the healing that can only occur with Him as the driving force in our lives.
Amen

Memorial

2006-06-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

Homesick
(by Mercy Me)

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Memory of Our Dear Friend and Brother
Murray Boyd

A Man After God's Own Heart

2006-06-17T09:19:00.000-04:00

I have had the honour of facilitating a group at church that ministers to people going through separation and divorce. Divorce Care is a ministy that runs around the world and is a blessing for those in that chapter in their lives. How I wish such a group existed when I was going through my divorce 15 years ago.
Last night a tragedy struck our group. One of our dear brothers, Murray was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was only 47 years old and had two teenage children that he adored. Murray struggled daily with guilt regarding these children and what he felt he didn't give to them as a father. Murray was indeed a good father. He had a relationship with his children and even though he wasn't living with them, he talked with them daily and even would text message his son all the time. Murray lamented over his broken family and would unrealistically blame himself for many things. He struggled with forgiving himself even though he knew that Christ had forgiven him long ago. Our last session of Divorce Care was on forgiveness. The pain in Murray's eyes was heartbreaking. He couldn't bring himself to forgive his past mistakes.
I often thought of Murray much like King David. David's life was overwhelmed with sin. He had remorse that was often more than he could handle. One only has to read the Psalms to see the depression and guilt that David suffered. But David was a "Man after God's own heart". David sought the Lord with his heart, mind and soul. Murray was much like that. He was a man after God's own heart. I teased Murray last week at care group about his duct tape on his Bible. That was a sign of a Bible that was used over and over. Murray would often share how the frustration of the day was relieved with the reading of God's Word and the prayer to His Father. It would bring Murray some sort of peace for the time.
I'm going to miss Murray at our group. He would always sit down at the table and open his book to the homework of the week that he faithfully completed. He always had a question to challenge me about Scripture and its true meaning. I felt ill equipped to be put on the spot like that sometimes but with the help of the group, God would always provide us with an answer that seemed to clear the meaning for Murray.
Murray is with the Father now. He has the joy he was seeking. He has now experienced what true forgiveness really is. I wish he had realized it while he was here with us but that doesn't matter much now. We need to carry a bit of Murray in our hearts. We need to challenge our thinking and question what God's Word really means. We can accept it by faith, but understand its meaning to pass it on to others. I feel blessed for knowing Murray for this short time. I look forward to seeing him again in the life eternal that awaits those who love the Lord.
Amen

My Prodigal Child

2006-06-14T10:02:00.000-04:00

I have a prodigal child in my dear daughter. By dictionary definition the prodigal is "Rashly or wastefully extravagant". This is my girl! She has brought me much joy in life along with much despair. We have had seasons of this despair and this is one of them. I have periods during this time when I take my eyes off of my Savior and on to the situation and I weep. I weep in fear and terror. My God is not a god of fear that title belongs to the enemy. My hope needs to be in Christ. Well meaning brothers and sisters point out my prodigal's comings and goings. They share her shortcomings with me and advise me in disciplinary measures. This only aids the enemy in taking my eyes off of my Savior, her Savior.
The parent of a prodigal already knows their comings and goings. The parent of a prodigal already is well aware of their short comings. In reminding them only intensifies the grief and stokes the fire of fear.
The parent of the prodigal needs encouragement and they need prayer. Remind this parent that you are also praying for this child. If God is calling you to reach out to this prodigal, DO IT! This parent is also praying for a godly person to come alongside of her prodigal. It may not be you, but it may be you.
Not only am I a parent of a prodigal but I am also the wife of a non-believing husband who is the prodigal's step parent. The lack of emotional and spiritual support further compounds the pain. The ultimatum of having to choose between a child or spouse should never be a reality but hence it is more real than I care to admit at this time.
I took my eyes off of Him. Until this morning. He is in control. He is asking me as He did Abraham. I need to take my prodigal to the altar and trust Him that He will provide the lamb. He will open the doors that need to be opened and close the ones that are never to be entered. Standing in the gap for those who are astray is not only a privilege but it is essential obedience.

Courtney

2006-06-10T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today I go to work at 3:00pm to look after a 13 year old girl by the name of Courtney. I have been caring for her on and off for about five years now. Courtney is functionally deaf-blind, fed by a gastric tube, mobilizes in a wheelchair and functions at about a four year old level. as well as the size of one. Right now I can hear all the people saying things like "Oh the poor thing!" and "What a tragedy!” Let me tell you, over five years ago I may have said the same thing. Caring for "Medically Fragile" children was about the last thing I ever wanted to do. They scared me far too much. They also reminded me of what can "go wrong" during a pregnancy. Courtney has provided a paradigm shift for me.
This little girl has provided so much joy for those who are in her life. You can't help but love her from the first moment you meet her. Even though she has the "deaf-blind" label she sees and hears everything you say. Her verbalization sounds more like a fast paced babble, but unless she is cross and probably swearing at you, her words will bring nothing but a smile to your face. She uses some sign language to communicate some of her "demands" (of which this 13 year old has just as many as any other 13 year old!!!) I have picked up alot of that language over the years.
She is also very "busy". I call her a "Toddler on Wheels". You cannot take your eyes off of this little peanut or she is off like a flash on that wheelchair into anything she can get her hands on.
Looking after this sweetie does take some energy, but it is some of the most enjoyable work that I do as a nurse. I often joke and say that I can't believe they pay me to do this and that I would do it for free!! I honestly would do it for free. I'm sure that Christ puts the little Courtneys in our lives to demonstrate His love for them as well as showing love and care for the "least of these" in the world. I'm thankful that this girl is in my life

Lord

2006-06-04T22:47:00.000-04:00

Lord you are with me
Each day.
Unchanging.
My Rock.
Even when I turn my back
To do things
My way.
The floor falls
From under my feet
Life unglued.
Haphazard living.
Your hand
Reaches down.
Waiting for mine
To reach up.
You never lose hope
In me.
Even when I feel
All hope is lost.
Thank You
For Your unconditional love,
Your steadfast love
Never ceasing.
Amen

Change is Good?

2006-05-29T06:43:00.000-04:00

I have heard the saying before that "Change is Good". Part of me believes that is true. It isn't Scriptural, even though some may quote it as such but it is really what our life in Christ is. I love to be comfortable, who doesn't? When I am comfortable I like things to stay just the way they are so that I can bask in that comfort. I don't have to put forth much effort in anything when I am comfortable. I can stay the way I am and things will never change. Or will they? When I get too comfortable, life can become monotonous. I begin to move and speak the same way to the same people and do the same things day after day. It is much like the robot society. There is no direction and no purpose. Life can get into a proverbial "rut".
Christ loves us so much the way we are but He also loves us too much to leave us there. But why can't others change? Why must it always be me? Jesus is calling me to "act" and not "re-act" to the crossroads in my life. He is calling me to be obedient. Others obedience is up to them and the call He has on their life. Why can't they hear His voice? Why must I always hear it and have the responsibility to be obedient? Why is it up to me to love others unconditionally when their love to me imposes so many conditions?
My crossroad now calls me to love and support my family unconditionally. Judgement is not for me. I will act as Jesus would. I will hate the sin and love the sinner. I will reflect His love to others that seem to have forgotten how much He loves them. He has made me the conduit of His purpose in their lives.
These changes make me uncomfortable. This life I have to live isn't cushy. Then again, as I have shared before, "God is more concerned with our character than He is our comfort."

Prom Night

2006-05-27T20:16:00.000-04:00

This is my beautiful daughter (blonde on the left)and her two friends getting ready for the prom tonight. They all look quite lovely. Now I just need to pray that they get home safely tonight!

Therapeutic Touch

2006-05-24T22:38:00.000-04:00

Whenever I hear the term therapeutic touch I get chills up my spine. TT as it is known in the New Age Medicine circles is birthed out of Eastern faith circles and is not a Christ centered practice. The other day I experienced a therapeutic touch that was totally of the Lord.
Violet is an elderly client that I visit who lives at home with her daughter. Violet suffers from bipolar disorder as well as schizophrenia. Her daughter who is now in her fifties was only six when her mother was first ill, so in some respects, this daughter has raised herself and her mother. Old treatments and medications have taken their toll on this woman who sat before me in a near catatonic state. There is little that can be done for her now because of the lasting side effects. She is often does not speak with her mouth but you can see it in her eyes. I look into her eyes and see right into her soul longing to come out and present itself to the world. My heart aches when I visit this woman. The Lord has given me so much compassion for her. When I have reached out to touch her face I have felt her pull back. However this last visit I asked the daughter if her Mom would mind if I hugged her. The daughter said that Mom would most certainly like a hug. When I asked Violet if I could hug her, her arms reached out for me. I hugged her and I felt her arms wrap around me and hug like she had never been hugged before. She wouldn't let go and held on for dear life. When I finally had to break the hold, she had a faint smile on her face. Not a real smile like you and I would manage, but a slight curvature of the mouth. This was all her face would allow her to make but I knew that inside she was smiling from ear to ear.
I tell this story not to lift myself but to encourage others to reach out. I was blessed as much if not more than Violet was. Only our merciful God could orchestrate moments like this. I love being His messenger. My only prayer is to be more open and obedient to these moments to bless others.

Still Alive

2006-05-22T07:48:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in some time and I decided to play around with the blogskin yesterday. I quite like this one. It reflects me in so many ways or more who I desire to be.
I had signed up for the summer semester for my degree program, even though when I started all this, I vowed not to work in the summer. Well, I have now dropped my summer course because I have realized between work, kids and just summer in general, it would be far to overwhelming to complete a course on the Theorists of Nursing. I will register again in the fall. The manic part of me would like to register for two but the level part of me thinks that may be a bit too much. I will see how the next few weeks go. I am glad that I have dropped the course and feel much more freedom to enjoy the summer and the pool.
There have been some changes at work with staff on my team. There have been some stressful moments to say the least. The new staff was "re-acting" instead of "acting" to differences in our team. The in-fighting that was occurring was so reminisent of my days at the hospital. Women can be so brutal. I found myself getting caught up in old sinful patterns that the Lord had removed me from long ago. The thought of the upcoming team meeting sent me into a tailspin emotionally. I was overwhelmed with my sinful patterns and thoughts that I literally felt sick the day of the meeting. Two days prior I began to pray about the meeting, for the new staff member and the current ones. Confession and forgiveness was needed desperately. God was and is so gracious when we confess our sins. The meeting went well in my eyes and there was much accomplished. God truly was the Chair of that meeting, even if the others were not aware of that. There was a peace that went beyond understanding. There is still a long way to go to establish the trust and cohesiveness that our team once enjoyed but I know with prayer, He will mend the broken bonds.

When God Tells You to Pray.

2006-04-09T08:01:00.000-04:00

I was out walking yesterday and found some I.D. on the sidewalk. It was the bank card and health card that caught my eye first. I picked them up and a few feet further I found some pictures of children. There were some names on the pictures and it appeared that these were siblings of the bank card owner. This owner was a 17-year-old boy and by the Children's Aid benefit card, was not living at home with these siblings. I was able (with some fine detective work) to track down where this boy was living. He was living in a local motel room, at the courtesy of Children's Aid. I actually spoke with his mother on the phone and I could hear the frustration in her voice. Another person I spoke with, shared that this boy was known to get into trouble. I felt empathy for the mom. I have felt that frustration before with my own teenager and could understand why she had "washed her hands" of the situation. I'm sure there were so many times that those siblings were deeply effected by the poor choices of this boy. Mom had to make a painful choice. Perhaps she felt that if her son was to fall hard enough, he might get a dose of reality and realize he needed to change. I felt so connected to her.
When I took the I.D. to the motel, the door of the room was open but no one was there. There was the stench of last night's booze (and who knows what else) in the room. It was a pathetic sight of a dingy room, a double bed, a tiny fridge and a play station. What this boy probably thought was the Life of Riley, made me want to cry. These choices that he is making will affect the rest of his life. I gave the I.D. to the motel clerk and went on my way. For some reason I was hoping to see the boy. I wasn't sure what I would say to him, I just wanted to connect somehow. It was then that the Lord prompted me to pray for this boy. It was then that the Lord directed me to not only pray today but to continue to pray for him. I later found out that the police brought the boy back to the motel room to pack his things and he left in the cruiser. I have no idea what he has done. This is but another step in his short life of poor choices.
So as the Lord has burdened my heart, I will pray for "Quinn" and for him to discover the Living God that loves him dearly and has a much better plan for his life.

Home Invasion

2006-03-22T22:13:00.000-05:00

Today our home fell victim to a home invasion. While my husband was in bed getting prepared to work his night shift, three men entered our home. He heard the dogs barking and the rummaging around but because it was 12:30 in the afternoon, he thought our daughter perhaps was home from school for lunch and brought her noisy teenage friends. Then when his door opened up and a man walked in the bedroom, he realized that this was not a good situation. The man was also startled and ran up the stairs. Three men who had been rummaging in our home ran out the door and down the street. Of course the police were called and the whole process is in place but my husband was pretty shaken up. I was too when I came home from work and heard the whole story. Nothing was taken and my husband wasn't hurt. I am thankful for that. My children weren't home. They were safe at school. My pets were shaken up but pretty much unharmed. When I started to play out the scenerios in my mind of the things that "could have" happened I praise God that He preserved my husband keeping him safe from harm. The peace that I have right now can't be described. I don't like the idea that someone was through our home but I know God is sovereign and will work all of this into something that will glorify His name.

Judge not lest you be judged

2006-03-03T17:44:00.000-05:00

My heart was so burdened today for the lost. The casual attitude that is so common today regarding sex, drugs and alcohol. Sex is not much more than a bodily function. Alcohol and drug consumption provide the medium required to reduce inhibitions towards sex. Much of our culture and generation has fallen victim to the consequences of casual sex. Divorce, single parent homes, kids living on the street, addictions and numerous types of depression to name a few.
During my time of burden this morning, the Lord spoke to my heart through a Christian radio program. I need to be careful not to judge too harshly against those who follow the accepted ways of the world. I need to check my own heart. These casual attitudes are birthed out of sin. The sin of instant gratification or the sin of putting "self" before all othersw. Have I ever acted selfishly? Have I demanded my own way? I know I have. That is not the way of Christ. That means I have to work on my own attitude in order to reflect His image. Does that mean I then can judge the lost? No. But I know the Lord has a call for me in this burden somewhere. Perhaps it is to pray for the lost more, or work in some other proactive way. Whatever He has for me to do I know He will give me the ways and means to carry out His will

Our Kids are Dying Out There

2006-03-03T08:26:00.000-05:00

This isn't anything we haven't already heard before but lately I have had such a burden for our youth and the challenges that they face. Thirty years ago when I was a teenager, things were not a whole lot different but my eyes see the pain that these kind of relationships have caused my generation.

Sex Under the Influence of Alcohol and Other Drugs
From Denise Witmer,Your Guide to Parenting of Adolescents.

Alcohol and other drug use is linked to risky sexual behavior and poses significant threats to the health of adolescents. Substance abuse may impair adolescents' ability to make judgments about sex and contraception, placing them at increased risk for unplanned pregnancy, sexual assault, or becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD), including HIV/AIDS.
We know the AIDS virus can be transmitted through sharing hypodermic needles. Less is known about the dangerous role of alcohol and other drugs in sexual behavior that may lead to STDs and HIV/AIDS. To compound matters, there is also considerable evidence that alcohol and other drugs weaken the immune system, thereby increasing susceptibility to infection and disease.

Consider the following statistics:

The use of alcohol and other drugs can affect judgment and lead to taking serious sexual risks. There were 18,540 cases of AIDS among 13- to 24-year-olds reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention by the end of 1994.
About 75 percent of high school seniors have had sexual intercourse at least once in their lives; about 20 percent have had more than four sexual partners by their senior year.
Studies show that adolescents are less likely to use condoms when having sex after drinking alcohol than when sober. This places them at even higher risk for HIV infection, STDs, and unwanted pregnancy.
A survey of high school students found that 18 percent of females and 39 percent of males say it is acceptable for a boy to force sex if the girl is stoned or drunk.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, HIV/AIDS has been the sixth leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year-olds in the United States for over three years. One in five of the new AIDS cases diagnosed is in the 20 to 29 year age group, meaning that HIV transmission occurred during the teen years. Additionally, more than half of new cases of HIV infection in 1994 were related to drug use.

There is still much to be learned about the relationship between alcohol and other drugs and sexual behavior. During the past decade, teens reported higher levels of sexual activity at earlier ages, experienced more unplanned pregnancies, and suffered higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases. To reduce the incidence of these problems in the future, prevention of alcohol and other drug abuse must be a top priority.

In the world but not of the world

2006-03-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

It's painful to be different. Tonight I spent some time with my co-workers for dinner. I was glad to be included but I found it so painfully uncomfortable. Their lives are so different from mine. They are great people but are so lost spiritually. In the eyes of the world they are "normal". I am the weird one. I know where they are because that's where I used to be. It seems like a lifetime ago but it was just ten years that I realized there was more to life than what the world called fun and acceptable. To now see people with the eyes of eternity is so hard when you see others so far from the Lord. The concentration on the here and now is the priority of the world.
I pray that God can use me in my workplace but tonight makes it seem so far fetched. I know the Lord can change anyone's heart. He can take a heart of stone and turn it to a heart of flesh. I pray that these ladies will long for that new heart of flesh.

Recovery

2006-03-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

I am a divorce survivor of over 15 years. In addition to that I am also an abuse survivor. Both events are not something that I ever want to repeat in my life but I would not want to take away the growth that occurred because of those storms. Because of the pain from that time in my life, I sought the Lord. I didn't know that was who I was seeking, but the road led me to Him.
I was thinking about this tonight because our Care Group from church met and in that group are some people that are in various stages of separation/divorce recovery. At 43 years of age, I am the veteran survivor in the group. It seems like a strange irony in some ways, but I remember the pain that these men and women are going through right now. The tears that they cry are so fresh in my memory. I thank the Lord that He brought me through the last 15 plus years. I thank Him how He used that heartbreak to draw me to His presence. To make me realize eventually that the emptiness I was feeling was only going to be filled by Him.
I thank Him that not only did I receive His grace and forgiveness, but that I was also able to extend that forgiveness (after a few years I might add) to my first husband. Only then was I able to experience true freedom.

Storms of Life

2006-02-27T21:55:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched In Touch with Charles Stanley. I really like listening to Dr. Stanley even though he looks like an old fuddy duddy. His practical teaching based in Biblical Truth is just what I needed to hear last night.
He spoke on God's purpose in the storm.

He said that:
"God does not always want to just do something IN us, but often His ultimate goal is to do something THROUGH us. The deeper the valley, the darker the storm and the more intense the pain, the greater the preparation of your heart to be a blessing to other people."

"When God breaks your heart, He makes you useful; but He also props open the door of your heart. You become very sensitive to people around you who are hurting. You don’t even have to open the door when encounter one who is hurting…it automatically opens and you become a walking valuable vessel and tool in the hand of God."

"The intensity of the storm and the length and depth of the valley can be determined by God based on our rebellion and indifference. But also the depth of brokenness required can be equaled to the degree of usefulness God sees in His purpose for us."

These are truths that I already "know" but I needed to be reminded. I remember in studying the "40 Days of Purpose" that God is more interested in my character than in my comfort.
I need to embrace the pain of the storm as Christ embraced the Cross for me. I know that there are times lately that I have been living on my own strength. Each storm reminds me that my strength is insufficient and that He is my sufficiency in life.

Crossroads

2006-02-26T07:21:00.000-05:00

I haven’t posted in some time due to the busy nature of my life right now. With family responsibilities, working and taking a university course my free time is a priceless commodity. The last couple of weeks I have been sick with a cold and bad cough that turned into a mild pneumonia that took the wind right out of my sails. I went back to work the last couple of days and felt absolutely spent after a relatively light work day. Needless to say, my energy level has been at sub zero. I know I have a paper due next week and I have only started reading the articles for. Add on to that my son who had been febrile for three days with a severe ear infection.
At this particular low period in my life comes the crossroad. It seems like Satan particularly likes to add this stuff in my life when energy levels are low or almost non existent. A thorn that attacked two years ago is back. I thought the wound was pretty much healed. The circumstances were made right for the wound to fester again. A harsh comment here, a temptation there and we are right back to where we were. He is out to attack when our spiritual life is weakened. When someone feels that they can make it without God and without Christian friends, the next step is to get sucked down the proverbial spiral.
I know God is in control and anything that happens is always filtered through His hands, but I still have a feeling of panic in the peace. I have been down this road before and God was faithful in preserving those involved. He has removed the influences that poisoned the pie in the past and I am (almost) confident He will do so again. I also have this feeling of wanting to throw all of my commitments in the trash. I want to forget all about these responsibilities that I have taken on in my life. These "extras" just seem so overwhelming right now and the energy to carry on with them seems absent.
Forgive me if you are reading this and it makes no sense. Only those who are privy to circumstances in the past and present with be able to decipher this cryptic message. I guess if you feel led to pray for this situation, I welcome ALL PRAYERS.
In His Grip
Kim

My All in All

2006-01-18T22:38:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad that the Lord didn't lay out all His plans for my life at conversion. Here I am almost 10 years into my Christian walk and when I reflect on the life lessons that He has taken me through I marvel and praise Him for His grace. There are very few "obvious" corrections that He reveals. Most of the time, I have never seen that there was a problem in an area that He has brought my attention to. However when I look back prior to the correcton taking place, it has been a major stumbling block to my life.
The latest behavior that He has spoken to me about is self-control and pride. Practically He is dealing with my sin of overeating or otherwise known as gluttony. It may sound trivial, but it is just as serious as any other addiction. I have essentially turned my back on God and feeding my pride when I ate beyond my needs. I have tortured my body with gaining and losing weight over the years. I have been in a Bible study over the last two months for healing in this area. The weight loss is only a bonus. Learning the put Christ first in ALL THINGS is the real blessing that I have learned. To crucify my pride and practice the fruit of the spirit, self-control IN ALL AREAS!!! That carries over into other areas of my life. I don't need the last word. I don't need to bemoan my present circumstances. I need to thank and praise Him for entrusting me with His treasures. Loving and nurturing my family so they can be secure in my love and to reflect the love of Christ in their lives. The critical spirit that I thought was crucified was still alive in my prideful nature. Thinking I was being "godly" and realising my grumbling I would mumble, were not glorifiying to God and were edifying to my family. It was essentially throughing my hand up in the face of Him, telling Him my way was better. What nerve!!!!!
I'm so thankful that when I fall, I can approach His throne and repent of my sins and bask in His saving grace. This song below comes to my mind today.

Once Again
Words and music by Matt Redman

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, poured out to death
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my Friend

Journey to Narnia

2006-01-08T22:47:00.000-05:00

Today my son and I went to see the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia. It was everything and more than I had expected. I must confess that I have not read the Narnia series but my son is in the process of reading the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe and I have followed many of the commentary shows on it. Disney has captured the core of the Christian alagorical themes that C.S. Lewis worked so hard to convey. The Gospel is presented beautifully and innocently. The battle of good verses evil that is taking place daily in the spirit rhelm, is visually portrayed in a land where it is always winter and never Christmas.
My son said it all at the beginning of the movie when Lucy first ventured through the wardrobe into Narnia, "It looks just like I imagined it would". Thank you Disney creators for staying true the imagination of a child, the purpose of Lewis and the recognition that there is a Christian audience out there.

The First Communion

2006-01-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not talking about a Roman Catholic rite of passage, but of my eight-year-old son taking another step in his spiritual walk. Because my son is in the third grade, he no longer goes to junior church during our regular worship service. Some days it is a challenge to keep him occupied during the service and other days it is more of a challenge to keep him and his little friends quiet. At any rate, by the time the pastor is starting to share the message, he is either bored to tears or he is in a place where he will listen to the message. Often I will interject with an object lesson related to the message.
We have discussed participation in communion in the past and what it means, but he has not elected to take part in the elements. Today was different though. When I asked him if he was ready to take communion, he said that he was.
This little boy doesn't do anything without giving it alot of thought. This was the case when he accepted Christ. I had shared with him about invited Jesus into his heart and what it meant to be a Christian. I would let him know that when he was ready to do that, I would pray with him. His response was usually, "No, I'm not ready yet". But one day I brought up the topic again, his response was, "I'm ready now." My mother has often said that he is an old soul. He is wise spiritually beyond chronological years.
I was again very proud of him today as he made that step forward in his spiritual walk. I hope God is okay with that kind of pride.

ER's Liberal Agenda

2006-01-06T21:42:00.000-05:00

Once again my favorite show, E.R. has caused me to wonder why I continue to watch it as a Christian. I boycotted the show a few years ago when Carrie Weaver came out as a lesbian and had an open relationship on the show. It just went way too far in my books.
Last's nights show had one story line that focused on two separate crisis pregnancies. Abby announced on the previous show to Luka that she was pregnant with his child. On last night's show she wrestled with the thought of whether or not she wanted to continue with the pregnancy. Luka, of course wanted to have the baby but recognized that it was her decision. While I was happy enough that he stated his desire for the pregnancy to continue, I do believe that the baby's life should be a joint decision as both of them were responsible for creating that life in the premarital relationship.
The second part of this story line concerned a 15-year-old girl who came in to the E.R. with abdominal pains. This girl was found to be pregnant. She was a patient of Neela with Luka as the attending. Her parents were then informed and it was obvious that they were Christians. However tragic and unexpected this pregancy was, they believed that God wanted this child to be born and they stated their belief in the sanctity of life. Neela didn't seem to show any respect for the parent's beliefs but felt that the girl did not want this pregancy to continue. The teen was in some distress and stated that she wished it hadn't happened. It was found that the baby was conceived after the teen got drunk at a party and passed out. She awakened to find that she had been taken advantage of.
After being confronted by Neela that he was biased because he was Catholic, Luka then went to counsel the teen and gave her the option of a laminar insert that would mimic a miscarriage. When she asked him if it was a sin, his reply was, "This is medicine's way of allowing God to change His mind". I thought I would throw up. Then she began to quote Jeremiah Chapter 1, which Luka completed for her. She then said to him, "You are a Christian" and he said, "Yes". The second time I almost threw up. This is the character that, yes, is portrayed as being Roman Catholic from Bosnia but has slept with at least a dozen women on the show. He certainly is a sensitive and handsome doctor but I would never call him a Christian. Being a nurse, I do not know any Christian doctor that would ever participate in an abortion.
This episode, in my eyes gave the green light to pregnant teens to abort their babies no matter what their parents think. It's ok to deceive your parents when it is your body, right? Especially when you get guidance from a Christian doctor.
The Abby part of the story line, turned out better. She decided that she wanted to keep the baby and didn't have an abortion. So Luka assisted in the death of one child to keep another I guess. I can't wait to see what the prolife publications will comment on this episode.

New Year's Intentions

2006-01-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

The last couple of days I have been sick with some sort of flu bug so it has given me time for reflection (and sleep). The "in" way to state what you want to do in the New Year is called New Year's Intents. I guess intentions are different from resolutions because intent gives you the grace if you fail and resolution is more defing. I'm not sure that I like either term. We can sometimes have the best of intentions but fail at the result. We also know the saying "The road to (you know where) is paved with good intentions". With intentions we never seem to feel we need to "get around to it". Resolutions, on the other hand, are more defining but there again, we set ourselves up for failure. How often do you hear of someone making New Year's Resolutions, only to break them within days of January 1.
I guess there are things that I think about improving all of the time. Since being a child of the King, I am supposed to be conforming into His image day by day. God awakens me to the need for change when I'm most likely to receive. I love and look forward to these little awakenings that He reveals to me. It is my special time out with the Lord in some respects. These times of revelation are precious to us both.

My Discontented Heart

2005-12-27T21:23:00.000-05:00

While doing a study today, I realised something about myself that I hadn't put to words before. In the book of Numbers chapter 11, it talks about the Israelites being taken through the desert. God had provided them with manna for food to sustain them. They had some foreigners travelling with them who began to whine and complain about the manna. They longed for other food like the meat they used to eat. The discontent of these foreigners spread to the Israelites. Instead of being thankful and satisfied for God's provision, they started to whine and complain that they wanted more. So the Lord gave them over to their sinful desires and sent them tons and tons of quail. They had their fill of meat but God also sent along a plague and many of the people died. They named the place of their death,
Kibroth Hattaavah (which means "Graves of Craving"). They had everything they "needed" from the Lord but they wanted something different. The discontented heart is never satisfied and craves for more.
I felt convicted by this lesson. I too, have become discontented with the Lord's provision at times. I think I know better than He does. Right? Wrong. I repent for the times lately that I have had these thoughts. Perhaps they haven't been so straight forward but when it comes down to the crunch, that is what I'm thinking.
He knows me better than anyone else does. Psalm 139 says that He knows my inner most being. He knows when to reveal truths to me so that I will "get it". He knows when to hold back because some truth will overwhelm me too soon. He has held back prayers that I have prayed for not only my own good but for the benefit to those around me. God has "life" down to a fine art. His timing is perfect and His ways are perfect.
Lord please help me to remember that when I feel like whining in the desert. Your manna is perfect for me.

Beyond the Manger

2005-12-24T22:49:00.000-05:00

As I sit on this Christmas Eve somewhat exhausted from the shopping and preparations over the last few days, I find myself feeling a little overwhelmed with life. Perhaps it is just the fatigue coupled with the high family tensions but nonetheless, it's not appropriate on this holy night. I then reflect on that night over 2,000 years ago. A young couple, a pregnant teenager who had just travelled by donkey over a rugged terrain. Her birthing room was not going to be in a sterile hospital room like today, but in a stable with a feeding trough for her newborn's crib. This couple's baby was the King of kings and Lord of lords. I wonder if Mary felt overwhelmed by her surroundings? Did she complain to Joseph about their accomodations? After all she had just travelled long and hard, ready to give birth. She must have been so uncomfortable. Whether or not she felt frustrated, we are not told. Mary, however knew that she was given the privilege of carrying and giving birth to the Messiah. This was her path in life and she accepted this in obedience to her God. She was favored among women. A special place to be in.
I need to remember that I also have a path in life. It is not a path of raising the Messiah, but I am given the responsibility of raising my children in the ways of the Lord. That in itself is an honoured position to be in. I need to reflect God's teaching and love to my children and my unbelieving husband.
God has set out this path for me and I need to be obedient, just as Mary was. In a different way, I have found favour with God by Him giving me "this" family and "this" responsibility(though I don't feel the least bit deserving).
God selects His caregivers very carefully. He expects me to do as Mary did and look beyond the manger. To see beyond the circumstances today and see others and myself with His eyes and not with my finite ones.

Does God Giggle?????

2005-12-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

We all hear alot about Random Acts of Kindness and as a Christian, I like to think that I am R.A.K. obedient from time to time. Of course, I am not looking for recognition or credit, but I do have to share about one particular act today that got me thinking. I was going through the drive-thru at Tim Horton's for coffee and as I was paying for mine, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to pay for the person's order behind me. I had enough money so I proceeded to pay for their's. I wanted to scoot out of there quickly so they didn't see me when they were told their order was paid. I found myself giggling as I rushed out of there. I had so much fun with it and it made me all giddy. It occured to me later, "Does God giggle when He blesses us at unexpected moments?". I have to think that He probably does. He takes great joy in blessing His children, but do we always acknowledge Him when we do receive? Do we always give Him the credit for these blessings or do we credit our own effort and will? James tells us that "Every good and perfect gift comes from above", so in essence every good thing that happens to us is as a result of Him and His will for us. Perhaps someone has paid for our coffee or given us a compliment when we are feeling down, but we owe it all to the Lord. It is He who has prompted that person to pass on that blessing or "good thing".
So the next time you receive a blessing, just picture the Lord giggling and it will be sure to make you thankful that He cares enough about all the little things in your life.

Hello Sunshine!!!

2005-12-14T09:32:00.000-05:00

Awhile back I shared about a blog that I have been following of a teenage girl from Iraq. I guess her blog was featured on MSNBC last night. If you haven't already, check out this girl's blog. It helps to see things in Iraq through a teenager's eyes. So much about her is so similar to any teenage girl, but the things that are different truly set her apart.
http://livesstrong.blogspot.com/

My Mission Field is at Home

2005-12-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

We have a retired couple in our church that regularly go to the mission field. Anywhere from India to the Ukraine they are always ready, willing and very able to accept God's call on their lives to missions. I remember specifically one day sharing with Betty, that I would love to go on a short term medical mission one day. Her words to me have repeated in my mind many times since then, "Your mission field is at home". I know those words were from the Lord and Betty would never take credit for the impact that those words have made on my life. She is a very humble woman that way.

My husband is not a believer in Christ, my teenage daughter has had her share of challenges in the last few years, both emotionally and spiritually. My son is just eight and is probably the most spiritually mature Christian in my midst and very eager to learn the truths of Scripture. That in itself is a full mission field. Sometimes I wonder why God has entrusted this job to me. I am so unworthy and so imperfect. I struggle with patience, anger (although He has worked wonders on me in both those areas through the last couple of years) and I don't fell equipped for such an assignment. I struggle to be the example as a Christian wife and mother almost daily.

Many times I don't feel appreciated and want to walk away. One thing keeps me going each day and that is the unconditional love and acceptance that my Savior has for me. This is so evident each and every day. He never gives up on me or ever wants to walk away. He sees and accepts who I am and also sees where He is taking me to. He sees that as being "worth it" in the long run. That is how I need to see my "mission field" as "worth it" to look at my family through the eyes of Christ and where they will be one day. The struggles and hurdles of today are the character builders of tomorrow's dedicated Christians.

EFT stands for "Enough Foolish Talk"

2005-12-11T07:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was visiting a patient. Both he and his wife are wonderfully polite and nice people. They are quite affluent with a large beautiful brand new home. I found out that he is a retired executive with an obvious higher education. While I was doing an uncomfortable dressing procedure, his wife grabbed hold of his hand and started "tapping" in some key areas. She began to repeat the phrase "Even though this hurts like "hell", I completely love and accept myself". Over and over she repeated this with the sequence of finger tapping. I honestly felt a "shudder" down my spine. I knew in my heart that this was some sort of New Age therapy that was not something I wanted any involvement in. Upon enquiry, the wife told me that this was called EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. She shared that it works by "crossing the meridian". I just nodded my head and smiled. She had learned the technique from a friend.
My heart felt sad for this couple who have lived a life of travel and prosperity. Having always lived by their own rules and means, they were turning to a "religion" of sorts that also caters to their own rules and means.
I checked out a web site on EFT and it is a technique that is full of "tapping" in key points much like acupuncture as well as repetition of affirmations. The phrases were much like the one this woman had used but of course they were altered according to the situation that one needs emotional freedom from. They instruct that even if you don't entirely believe the phrases, to repeat them anyway. Much like a chant I would say, but of course filled with more and more emptiness.
People are so desperately searching in the 21st Century life. There is such a need to fill that void in their life with something spiritual. My heart aches for those who seem to "have it all" when in all actuality they have "nothing". I often compare much of the New Age culture with a bag of candy floss. It may taste good and seems like it should be "filling" but it is really just a bunch of sugar, packaged to seem like something grand.
The world so urgently needs Jesus Christ, but many continue to turn to the things that puff up the "self" which leads to spiritual and even physical death.

Carry One Another's Burdens

2005-12-06T12:55:00.000-05:00

A few months ago my son and I went to the pet store and purchased a pair of zebra finches. I liked the squeaky little sounds that they make and felt that it wouldn't be a noise that I would get tired of. I decided to name them Ruthie and Boaz after the couple in the book of Ruth in the Old Testament. If you have never read it, please do yourself a favor and do it. It is a wonderful romantic story of Boaz, the kinsmen redeemer and Ruth, a devoted daughter in law who connect, marry and solidify the lineage to Jesus. Anyway, these two birds have been fun to watch. Ruthie did lay some eggs and she and Boaz shared the duty of sitting on the eggs until they hatched. To see Ruthie step out of the nest to eat, followed by Boaz jumping in to warm the eggs was heartwarming to say the least. Their babies didn't survive this time around but we will probably try again.
Yesterday I came home and looked in the cage and to my horror, Ruthie was hanging upside down in the cage with her foot caught on some kind of thread. I really thought she was dead. Who knows how long she had been like that. Thankfully she was alive and I held her as I untangeled this thin thread that was wrapped around her small foot. There seemed to be certain damage to it as she was unable to keep her balance. She sat on top of the nest and had to prop herself using her wing. I moved her food and water close to her, as I thought she would starve because she couldn't balance. To my surprise, when I got my human hands out of the cage, Boaz rushed to her side and propped himself up against her to hold her up. He didn't leave her side other than when this silly human would put her hands in there to rearrange things to help Ruthie.
If we all could learn a lesson from one of these smallest of God's creatures. Boaz was there to carry Ruthie's burdens. He wasn't concerned for his own needs and take all the food for himself, he was there for her in all situations. He "supported" her in the only way he could.
Today Ruthie seems to be back to her old self. The temporary injury seems to be less of a burden for her. Thanks to the rest she was able to have with Boaz being there for her in her time of need.

Rating Sin in the House

2005-11-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

It seems as Christians, we get into the habit of rating sinful behavior among the brethren. We may not say it outloud or think about it much, but I believe we do. We are quick to point our fingers at someone who abuses alcohol or drugs. We pray for them to be able to overcome this bondage with the help of Christ. Some are even quick to make the statment that a person that stuggles with this kind of addiction, must not be a "real" Christian because if they were the Lord would surely have given them victory over that sin. After all they are placing that alcohol or that drug before the Lord. It is an idolatry of sorts. This sort of scenerio could be played again regarding smoking or pornography. These are the "bad" sins. If one is to dare mention that overeating is in the same category as these sins, they risk being scoffed at. After all church activities are centered around food. All of our meetings, Bible studies and social activities are always partnered with food. "Who is bringing snack this week?" "Please bring a loaf of sandwiches and a pan of squares" "Next week is the pot luck!!". These are not bad things of course. We need to eat food and we certainly do that very well. We must remember that gluttony is also a sin along with alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography, smoking, and yes, computer addiction. You don't have to be overweight to practice gluttony and you don't have to be a hermit to practice computer addiction but anything that takes the place of Jesus Christ as center in our lives is idolatry and it is wrong. No one or no thing should be in that place of honor.
As Christians we know that we have Christ that fills that Christ shaped empty space in our heart. But sometimes we choose to place other things in that space and sometimes that is an escape. If it becomes too frequent of a practice the Lord will begin to shake up our lives to let us know He is being ignored. Our God is a jealous god and deserves and desires first place in our lives.
If you are struggling with an addiction to any of the things I have mentioned, there is a wonderful solid course available to you. Check out www.settingcaptivesfree.com You won't be sorry you did!

This is Maggie!!

2005-11-28T19:03:00.000-05:00

This is my little shih tzu puppy, Maggie. She came into our lives in March of this year and has been such a wonderful addition to our family!

Two Very Different Outcomes

2005-11-23T21:59:00.000-05:00

Two deaths have occurred in our small community that have touched my life even though I really knew neither of them. The first gentleman was a friend of my husband's family. He was well known in the community as he used to own a gun and sporting store. So it was to a select group that he was familiar with. He was known to spend large amounts of money on "toys" and buy things for other people. He would throw a huge party in the summer for his friends and business associates. The menu would include steaks for everyone and all the alcohol one could drink. His health had deteriorated in the last 15 years with diabetes and heart disease. Over a year ago he had been in a coma following heart surgery and not expected to live. He had many "close calls" and came out of them eventually. This last time, he wasn't successful. I remember praying for this man when he was in the coma. He didn't know the Lord and I prayed that God would come to him and speak to him in this time of surrender. He lived his life in his own way on his own terms. Sadly, he died the same way. I found out today that the Lord was not in his life, even at the end. For that I am so sad and so angry at the same time. I believe the Lord gave him many opportunities in his life to recognize his need for Him. The man had "nine lives" it seemed. The Lord kept giving him another chance, another chance, another chance. Is there a point where the Lord knows that this heart will never soften and turns his head? I don't know. But Scripture does talk about the "hardening of hearts", and "giving them over to their lustful desires".

The other gentleman I had never met. He was 54 years old and also owned a business in a small neighboring community. He died in a tragic fall from a ladder. His son had the misfortune to be witness to his father's death. The death was sudden and totally unexpected. In contrast, the man loved the Lord. He comes from a heritage of believers and was very active in his church. He had been to Haiti last year on a mission trip to an orphanage that the church sponsors. It sounds like he was a caring and merciful soul. He didn't kn that his last day was his very last but he was ready nonetheless. The other man wasn't. He had no time for last thoughts. The other man did. Why did the first man not recognize the Lord in his life? The second man probably gave the glory to God for everything that happened in his life.

I'm not sure I understand but I guess it really is the gift of free will. We all have the opportunity in our lives to accept or reject the One that gave His life so we could live. The rejection of Christ is a death sentence. I weep for those who have gone to the grave with no knowledge of Him. The joy they missed in life is tragic, but even more tragic is the consequence of rejection. Eternity without God and that "one more opportunity for Christ" will never come again.

A Blessing

2005-11-18T17:29:00.001-05:00

My job is one of the blessings of my life. I get to meet all kinds of people from every walk of life. Some visits stand out more than others and today was one of those Divine Appointments. I hadn't met this lady before but was told that she had a cancerous tumor in her liver in which chemotherapy nor radiation were an option. She is on the palliative program and is described as very accepting of her death. She has all of her arrangements made for her funeral, right up to the pictures that would be on display. She is in a very advanced stage of liver failure and it is obvious by her "yellow tanned look to her skin. The sclera (or the whites of her eyes) are yellow. Her emaciated body is even more accentuated by her protruding abdomen that is full of the poison that is destroying her life. But within this woman is a spark. There is a peace and a joy that goes beyond all human understanding. ("...and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7) As the outside of her body is deteriorating, her spirit is growing into full maturity. She is becoming more and more like Christ. ("Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2Corinthians 4:16,17) Yes, she loves the Lord and it shows. She describes Christ as her Rock. The only One that she has ever been able to lean on at any time. I don't know much about her past but I'm sure she has a story to tell. Don't we all? Obviously God receives all the glory with her testimony.
In the one bedroom sits a boy/man. This is her son who has special needs. He is in his forties and she thanks God for him being there at this time in her life. He wears one of those key chain ribbons around his neck that says, "I love Jesus". His face lights up when someone speaks to him. She is her joy in life, that is obvious. His needs are all looked after for when she leaves this world. She says that he is extra "klingy" now because he does understand what is happening. But he knows that he will see Mom again in heaven.
She shares with me that she has eight grand-children and she would like to see them grow up, but that is not to be. She also speaks of wishing she would have been taken up when the Rapture comes, but doesn't feel that is to be either. I told her not to be so quick to make that statement! He could come at any time.
I'm sure that I will get to know this lady a little better over the next few weeks but she certainly was a blessing to me today.

My Unbelief

2005-11-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

I'm reminded today about the story in Mark chapter 9 starting at verse 14. A man brings his son to Jesus. The boy is possessed by a spirit that prevents him from speaking. When the spirit "seizes" the boy it knocks him to the ground into a full grand mal seizure (by the Biblical description). This has been going on for years. The father shares that there have been times the spirit has thrown the boy into the water or fire to try and destroy him during these seizures. The father asks Jesus to remove this spirit, "if you can". Can you imagine how Jesus felt about that statement, "if you can". "Of course I can, I'm God incarnate, don't you know???? No, He didn't say that. But Jesus did say to him, "If you can? Everything is possible to the one who believes." (Mark 9:23). Of course the boy's father did believe but there was doubt. He cried out, "I do believe! Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24b).
How often I am like that boy's father. I say I believe and I even "feel like" I believe, but do I really believe that I believe? I hold on to the promise of God to save my unbelieving husband or to light the fire of God on my fence-sitting teenager, or to save the most unlikely of my co-workers. Deep down, do I believe there is a chance of any of this coming to fruition? I'm really not sure. If I were to truthfully admit it, I would say, I doubt. I have unbelief mixed in with my belief. I have encouraging Christian brothers and sisters that help me to stay on track. I have the "proof" of answered prayer in my past 10 years as a Christian, but I still doubt. In my doubt I can become cynical about the promises. I think I'm being realistic, but it can manifest as sarcasm.
I need to pray for the Lord to help me with my unbelief. He knows how we as humans struggle with the temporal. We see through the eyes of eternity, but sometimes we are a little too near sighted. God sees the fine Christian man my husband will one day be, I can't. He sees the on fire Christian my daughter will grow to be, I can't. He sees through prayer that His work will be accomplished in my "so far from God" co-workers. I'm just a a mere human and feel so finite. I feel so powerless most days, so inadequate. Lord help me with the unbelief that I carry each day. Help me to be obedient to Your call.

Foolishness

2005-11-13T19:50:00.000-05:00

I have realized once again in the last couple of weeks just how different Christians are from the rest of the world. There are a couple of incidents that really stand out in my mind.
The other day I was watching 100 Huntley Street and Moira Brown was sharing about the death of her 46 year old brother died as a direct result of complications of alcoholism. She shared that it was unfortunate that her brother didn't allow Jesus to help him overcome his addiction. Just as she said that my husband walked into the room. He made some gesture that indicated he was disgusted with what was on television. I asked him to clarify what he was meaning and he just shared that he was "too intelligent" for that kind of thinking. I wanted to cry. I wanted to debate and argue, but I just kept quiet. I was sad for him mostly. After all this time, he still doesn't "get it" when it comes to Christian spirituality. He relys on "self" and only himself. The idea that you can give your burdens to the Lord is something so foreign to him. He thinks it is absurd I believe. I have to admit, when really thinking about things of the Lord in a secular mind, it has to sound crazy!
A second example comes in the form of a local message board from the local internet service provider. The thread of the posting started out debating the teaching of intelligent design in the school system. Most of the posters slammed the idea that the educational system would actually consider teaching such a thing. It made things sound like intelligent design borders on mythology. In this 21st Century of scientific advances even considering intelligent design seems to them to be insane. One poster stood firm on her faith. She shared the Gospel and her faith and a dabbling of her testimony. Many scoffed at her and some showed respect but they all pretty much rejected what she had to share. I admire her for standing firm. She is unashamed and I'm sure the Lord is smiling upon her.
I find it so sad that these unbelievers are so blinded and their hearts are so hardened to the Good News that Christ has for us.
I am reminded about the verse from 1Corinthians 1:18-21

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, "I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE, AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE."
Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe."

As a friend of mine says, we need to "Keep on keeping on". We need to live the Gospel in word and in deed. Preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary, speak.

Fear of Death

2005-11-08T18:23:00.000-05:00

II attended another conference today on Palliative Care. The subtitle of the conference was: "Defining Hope". I learned some really good nuggets that will surely enhance how I care for those who are in the last chapter of their lives. We had two speakers. One was a hospice nurse from the States with an extensive expertise in the field. She has co-written a couple of books concerning "Near Death Experiences". She had some wonderful stories to tell. Each account of near death was that of joy, lights and peace. The impression was that everyone goes to a glorious place of peace and tranquility. Not once did she ever mention a negative experience. I know that not all is wonderful. Not all of the glorious experiences that she spoke of will end in an eternity of joy. Without Christ, there is no joy or peace in eternity. Without Christ in this life, we forfeit an eternity with our Creator, God. Many well-meaning caregivers embrace this teaching of a broad spirituality. This spirituality is more secular than what people really imagine. To depend on the "inner self" means no dependence on the One who is the life-giver of all. It is so sad how this type of teaching in the hospice/palliative care circles is in the forefront these days.
The second speaker was a social worker who also has his masters in theology from Harvard. His claim to fame is that he obtained his masters in theology without ever stepping foot inside a church. Hence, you can imagine what he had to say. Actually in all fairness, this man is quite brilliant. He has a heart for those who are near death and wants to help them come to terms with that. He actually is located at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto and covers the pediatric caseload for home palliative care. He spoke about the fear or denial of death in our culture. We are a culture of curing people. This is so evident that in this last year, he only received six referrals from Sick Kids Hospital. 85 % of the children, who die, do so in intensive care at Sick Kids. They aren't prepared; they aren't at home, where they would probably want to be if they had their say. These poor parents aren't prepared either. They are led to believe, by the doctors that they are doing the right thing for their children. Death is looked upon as failure.
This man was very informative and I will certainly carry some of his wisdom to my patients, but there again the area of spirituality is so broad. I know we have to be culturally sensitive but I just find that things are so secular in most of health care. Palliative care to me belongs in the area of spiritual care. To guide people in the dying process and tying their loose ends up in life is a priority in hospice care. Helping them to search within and discover who they really are. If the questions about what their purpose has been in this world come up, I have no problem sharing my belief (when led). If they then "choose" to believe then that is their choice. But they need to know that they indeed have a choice.

Suffering

2005-11-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

Suffering
By Mike Rule
Many people lay claims that people in the United States do not know what true suffering is because we have it so good compared to those in other countries where people are persecuted for their faith. While I understand where people are coming from, I struggle with these conclusions because they are all based in drawing comparisons and making judgments about circumstance. Man looks at the external, but God looks at the heart. The reality is that people EVERYWHERE are suffering, even here in the U.S. It is true that I have not been physically beaten for following Christ, but I have nonetheless suffered emotional torment at the hands of brothers and sisters who meant well but were clueless. Even more common are the internal struggles and suffering we all walk through, like depression, anxiety, relational trauma, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. One of the biggest tormentors among those in the U.S. and other developed countries is the question, why do I hurt so much when I have it so good? We struggle with guilt over having “illegitimate” pain.

Comparing suffering is like comparing abuse. To say that internal suffering is not really suffering is like saying that physical abuse is true abuse while emotional abuse is not. Abuse is abuse; suffering is suffering. As I walk with the Lord I see believers in America suffering horribly. Some at the hands of legalism, some at the hands of others, others at the hands of their own internal wounds or emotions, and still others at the hands of health problems. The vehicles to deliver pain are limitless. The issue is not the FORM of the suffering, but rather the purpose of it and what it produces in us.

What is God’s purpose in suffering? And we know we are going to get what's coming to us--an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with Him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with Him! That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. (Romans 8:17-18) God’s purpose is to form the image of Christ in us, and in order to do that He has to use suffering to destroy our pride. I was recently counseling with someone who has been struggling with years of chronic pain. The Lord made it evident that she was ready to be asked a question: “Sister, if it wasn’t for this pain in your life, what would it have taken to break your pride?” She pondered it a moment and responded, “The pain has been perfect, because without it I would never have been willing to let go of my image.” Her pain brought brokenness and freedom from the bondage of living to people. If a person is unprepared to handle that question, bitterness and resentment (all rooted in unbroken pride) against God and life develop. But when the ground is fertile and ready, the person sees God’s perfect plan through the suffering and is ready to receive it as tailor-made for his or her life. Paul said, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestinated to be conformed to the image of His Son, for Him to be the First-born among many brothers. But whom He predestinated, these He also called; and whom He called, those He also justified. And whom He justified, these He also glorified. (Romans 8:28-30)

In this world there will be suffering. We cannot escape it. Would we rather suffer with no purpose, or see God’s purpose in suffering and see it accomplish His goals? For me, I would rather see the purpose in it and let God have His way in me through it. I have learned I would rather yield to it and get through it as quickly as I can instead of fighting it and prolonging the agony. There is nothing that will ever come into the life of a child of God that is not first filtered through His fingers of love. Beloved, do not be astonished at the fiery trial which is to try you, as though a strange thing happened to you, but rejoice according as you are partakers of Christ's suffering, so that when His glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy. (1 Peter 4:12-13) Come quickly, Lord Jesus, and have Your way.

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Ecclesiastes

2005-11-02T13:10:00.000-05:00

I had the opportunity of sharing a portion of the third chapter of Ecclesiastes with my mother today. It is titled appropriately, "A Time for Everything". It is a familiar passage in Christian circles often during a time of reflection.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

As I reflect on those particular verses, I rejoice that God has a time and a place for everything under the sun. He is in control of my life. In that control, He has also given me free will. That free will is often discussed in the realms of salvation, but there is more to it than that according to these verses. My free will enables me to choose when and how I react. When I line my thoughts and actions up with the will of Christ, the timing of Christ falls into place. However, there are times when I fall and I fail. This is when my free will is only out to satisfy my own thoughts and desires. This is the free will that longs for revenge and self justification. When walking in the steps of Jesus, I have no longing for revenge or to defend myself. I stand in His promise and His grace. I'm thankful that when I do fall; when I do fail; He forgives me in my confession and repentance. He enables me to get back up again and begin again to train myself in His ways.

Enough Already!!!

2005-10-30T22:24:00.000-05:00

Enough of those pointless personality tests!! I don't know why I do them anyway. How can you determine the depths of someones being by picking out a picture or answering four simple questions??? Of course they will seem "right on"!! Just like when I used to read my horoscope. There was a time, honestly that I would grab the newspaper to see what sort of day the stars had in store for me. Of course this was when I was much younger and not following Christ.
A new Christian in the care group I attended mentioned that she was a Saggitarius. It really stopped me short, as I hadn't geared my thinking in that area for almost ten years. The word was foreign to me. Why did those daily readings mean so much to me? I guess because I was searching for direction and meaning to my life. Trying to stuff air-filled styrofoam in the space that was meant only for the love of Jesus.
So I promise from this day forward to stay away from those pointless personality tests, whether for enjoyment or to validate my personality. After all only the God who created me truly knows every facet of my personality that He created for His purposes.

Another Personality Test

2005-10-22T17:51:00.000-04:00

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.
You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.
A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.
In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.
At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.
With others, you tend to be polite and formal.
As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.
On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

Brain Pattern

2005-10-22T17:40:00.000-04:00

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

My Personality???

2005-10-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

I would say that this is pretty close, but I have learned not to let my emotions influence my decisions as much as I did when I was younger.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

TV Medical Shows

2005-09-17T09:41:00.000-04:00

This is from a Nursing Advocacy Newsletter that I receive:

"September 2005 -- The fall 2005 U.S. television season promises a lot of influential health-related serial programming. But since nearly every major character is a physician--literally dozens--it seems unlikely that nurses will receive their due. At the top of the list are the three hugely successful returning prime time hospital dramas: NBC's " ER" (premieres Sept. 22), Fox's " House" (Sept. 13), and ABC's " Grey's Anatomy" (Sept. 25). Of the 25 major characters in these three shows, 24 are physicians, and only one--"ER"'s Sam Taggart--is a nurse. "

I guess the networks feel that the ratings are with the docs?

Busy With This and That

2005-09-16T18:56:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging or reading blogs for the past couple of weeks. I finally have had a chance tonight to sit and do just that. I started my first university course towards my nursing degree. It is actually an English course on essay writing. It isn't a nursing course per se, but all but one of us online are actually nurses in the degree program. I know it is only the beginning, but I am enjoying things so far. Most of the nurses are in the same kind of situation as I am. The majority are in their late 30s or 40s and working with children. We all have priorities to deal with. It is refreshing how supportive we are to each other. We post messages on a message board and critique each other's work. I guess one could probably tell that we are "caregivers" according the the kind of encouragements we leave for each other. We have already had two quizzes plus an essay completed. I find it more motivating being an online course, as you know, I do love my computer!!

Dependance

2005-08-28T20:41:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why the Lord has placed me with the team at my workplace. We are so different in so many ways, I wonder how I can make a difference for Christ in their life. Patterns are so etched in stone, independence and self reliance is viewed as the ultimate strength. The other day, one of my collegues made the hard and fast statement, "The only one that I can depend on is me!" and she firmly pointed to her chest.
I am not used to hearing statements like that in my Christian circles. Reliance on and submission to Christ is our goal in life. To follow His will for our life. I cannot depend on "me". I fail and I fall. My emotions sometimes get the best of me. Sometimes I get angry at my family when life gets overwhelming. I can't depend on me. When I fall it is because I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. I identify with Peter taking his eyes of Christ in the storm and starting to drown. Oh how often I feel like that impulsive and emotional disciple. Those days that life seems to just fall in on me. I want to crawl into bed and drown in my own self pity. I'm so thankful for friends that point me back into the direction of His steps. That is the kind of advice I need on those days. Not to count on "myself" but to always count on the One who never changes, the One who stands in my corner for eternity, the One who gave His life just so I live for Him here and with Him in eternity.
I guess I will continue just to be "real" at work and at home. I need to be tuned into the Holy Spirit "station" when I am with my collegues and speak up for Christ when led to do so. I want to be an example but I want to be sensitive to their lives. It is a challenging position to be in but I guess that is one of my "assignments" in life.

Two New Additions To The Family

2005-08-25T07:14:00.000-04:00

Yes we have some new family members in our home. Yesterday my son and I went to the pet store and bought two zebra finches. I have always wanted this kind of bird as they aren't a "squawky" kind. The make sweet little squeeking noises. I have named them Ruth (actually Ruthie) and Boaz. In the book of Ruth in the Bible is the story of Ruth and Boaz. It is somewhat of a romance of its day and quite a lovely story. Since this union further establishes the lineage of Christ it is even more special to me. Perhaps Ruthie and Boaz might hatch themselves a little Obed!!!

.....and now for something completely different

2005-08-21T18:21:00.000-04:00

There is no depth to this post but I just had to share the joy that I have today. I know it is truly summer when I can sink my teeth into a real toasted tomato sandwich. I mean tomatoes from the garden not the greenhouse and not the green picked, artificially "ripened" pale pink ones we get here in Canada from the southern U.S. before ours are ready. I mean the deep red, super sweet tasting, needing only a pinch of salt and pepper on two slices of toast with butter tomatoes. Yummy!! My mom brought be some straight from the garden tomatoes today. I'm in heaven!! It doesn't take much to get me excited, does it????

An Honor

2005-08-20T07:52:00.000-04:00

I started college for nursing in 1980 so in essence, I have been nursing for 25 years! Sometimes I sit in disbelief when I make statements like that. I still feel like I'm in my 20s most days. However, when I reflect on my personal and professional life, there are an abundance of experiences that comprise those 25 years. My main nursing experience has been in critical care. For over 15 years I worked in intensive care with acutely ill people. I know, it sounds stressful and it was. I enjoyed that type of nursing then, but never felt like I accomplished enough. I wasn't sure what that "enough" was, until I began community nursing. The "enough" was the people themselves. I entered into nursing because I enjoy people. I enjoy getting to know them and their families. Community or visiting nursing will often give the opportunity to do just that.
Some people don't understand the job and think that it is comprised of simple tasks. We perform many clinical skills in the home as patient acuity is higher these days. Hospitals are discharging patients earlier and earlier. Hospitals are closing beds in Canada to save money but the patients do suffer. I remember just before I left the hospital that it often felt like it was a revolving door of patients in and out constantly.
One of the most challenging and rewarding areas of nursing in the home is palliative or end of life care. Many families are opting to bring their terminally ill loved one home to die. The services that are available enable that to happen. Hospital beds and equipment for the home, nursing and personal support worker care for the patient and family. It is an honor to be part of that whole process. The patient and the family fall under our nursing care. The family has invited the nurse into their world and one of the most vulnerable times of their life. Often it is just a listening ear and wholehearted support is all that is needed.
This week, one of the young women from our church is bringing home her 17 year old son who has cancer. There is nothing the doctors can do any longer for this disease that is no respecter of persons. The scenario that I just described will be theirs.
I wrote in an earlier post about how things like this seem so unfair. I again have to give this whole situation to our God that sees the panoramic view of life. He has a plan for this young man as well as all of us in His care. Who knows how many lives this boy’s story has touched? In the process of his disease, he has surrendered his life to the Lord. His new faith and love for God has touched those who have witnessed the joy that a piece of Scripture has brought to his face. In his stress of life, He feels the love of a God who carries him each and every day.

Now I lay me down to sleep.......

2005-08-14T07:19:00.000-04:00

As a mother, I have found that the "bedtime routine" is anything but routine. Both of my children have taken that time to share what is on their hearts, the good and not so good. It has also been a wonderful time of teaching them the ways of the Lord through object lessons. Of course, they don't realize that they are being "taught" but that is the whole point isn't it?
The other night when I was putting my son to bed he started to share. In the summer we send him to a couple of Vacation Bible Schools. They are usually week long events for a few hours in the day. There are Bible lessons, crafts and lots of fun. They are primarily meant as an outreach tool of the church that is running them, but I do find that our Christian kids do grow and learn spiritually. Sometimes that growth is not realized for some time as I learned that night. My son started to share with me about a true story of a woman who was injured in a diving accident. This story was shared at a VBS not this year but TWO YEARS AGO!! This was the first time he had shared it with me. This woman of course was Joni Erikson Tada, a well known Christian speaker and author who became paralized as a result of a diving accident. He shared more about her life and since I have read one of her books, I was able to share about some of the wonderful things that she has done and that the Lord has taught her.
I was really moved about my son's compassion about Joni and people in general with challenging disabilities. I look forward to see what the Lord has in store for his future assignment in life.
Do check out Joni Erickson Tada's website!!

Challenges

2005-08-10T09:56:00.000-04:00

Each day presents it's own challenges. I awake with a goal in my mind for the day. The challenges of the day and how I confront them determines whether or not I will attain my goal. Children, energy levels and priorities are some of the factors that I have in my day. After reading Sunshine's mother's blog today I realize that my challenges are but small "blips" on the scale of severity. I encourage you to read this Iraqi mother's post on her "routine day". It has certainly caused me to put my life into a different perspective. Life is so precious and we need to thank God for each day He gives to us. Kim

Racoon Eyes

2005-08-06T09:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday my family and I went to Paramount Canada's Wonderland. A full day of rides, water park and fun, fun, fun. Yes, I have racoon eyes. Not enough sunscreen on my face and an outline where my sunglasses were. My husband got quiet the laugh at me this morning!! Along with the sun burn I am also feeling every one of my muscles in my back in spasm. I guess I don't handle waterslides and roller coasters like I used to. I think the last time I was at Wonderland was 20 years ago, so do the math on my age. Yes, we had a blast though.
This morning I started to read some postings on the blogs that I have been following. I have started reading one of a 14 year old girl from Iraq. Her mother and aunt also blog. "Sunshine" as she is known on her blog, shares her life growing up in war torn Iraq. So many things are similar to any teenager growing up, but the differences bring tears to my eyes almost every time. Why can I enjoy a day in Wonderland and she can't leave the house alone most days? Why can I visit with family and friends and chat about life and laugh, while she and her family visit and talk about which neighbour has been murdered or abducted?
Perhaps that is why the Lord led me to these blogs for a greater purpose. I am to pray for this family in particular and offer encouragement when I can. He loves the people of Iraq as much as He loves you and I. He cries the tears along with all of them in their suffering.
I encourage you to check out Sunshine's blog and pray for this family and the people of Iraq.

Retreat

2005-08-02T18:46:00.000-04:00

We have just returned from a few days away camping. Not quite enough time to truly "retreat" but I am intentionally trying to stay away from any work or personal commitments for a week. In some of my quiet time I did feel that the Lord was speaking to me about my self reliance. I do tend to get that way when things are going well. It is when my life is falling apart at the seams that I tend to cling to Him so tightly. I don't take the time for Him when life is "fine". Life is not "fine" if I'm running on my own strength.
Because of that I believe that many things in my life don't seem to be moving in the direction that I "want" them to. Perhaps He is trying to show me that there are many areas in my life that I seem to rely on my own strength.
He also spoke to me about my obedience or should I say my "lack of" in areas concerning relationships. I have been tending to retreat within myself, or should I say becoming somewhat introverted even at home with family. That isn't a healthy state for family and especially a marriage relationship. That will be a constant challenge for me as I do tend to retreat when I'm feeling low. Could it be spiritual depression? I have just started reading a book on that topic. Is it another attempt at diagnosis? Perhaps this diagnosis is a little closer to the real Truth?

God is so good!

2005-07-22T21:21:00.000-04:00

I haven't actually recorded anything in my blog lately. I guess that I felt I had nothing "Noteworthy" to say. This past week a friend of mine from my nursing school days (23 years ago, I'm afraid to say!!) had a daughter disappear. I guess she actually went missing on June the 30th. Word has it that she met some man on the internet that was 35 years old. Turns out that this guy is a tattoo artist on social assistance. The girl is just 15 years old and apparently quite naive. I hadn't had contact with my friend since our 20th reunion but I had to call her and let her know that I was praying for her. She and her husband had been apart for two years so I was concerned that she needed to know that she had support. She was understandably, a wreck. It is every parent's worst nightmare to have their child go missing. My heart grieved with her. I remember when my friend was pregant with her daughter. She had actually been carrying twins and she miscarried a twin. I shared with her that day that God preserved Kaitlin in the womb so He would preserve her now. He had plans for her. I believe that the Lord was speaking those words through me that day. Nancy (mom) was so appreciative of the words as she had not thought of it that way before. I urged her to hang on to that hope. Many people in my Christian circles were praying fervently for this situation since Wednesday. I had actually sent out the email on Monday but my sympatico email was not sending properly.
Praise God!! Kaitlin was found in Toronto on Thursday! She was dirty, hungry and afraid, but very much ALIVE!! A transit officer in Toronto recognized her from pictures that the family had been distributing.
Of course to God be all the glory, honor and praise for this situation. I truly believe that His saints obedience to prayer was a huge factor in Kaitlin's return. He is so good.
This whole situation caused me to reflect on my daughter's rebellion of almost two years ago. Many nights I would be in prayer that the Lord would just keep her alive. There were many times I knew not where she was or what she was doing. If she called to come home, I would go and pick her up. There were nights of travelling at 3:00 am to rescue her from a potentially dangerous situation.
I remember once praying to the Lord that I just wanted to see evidence of Him working in her life. I remember the Lord speaking to my heart, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test". I needed to trust Him. He had begun a good work in her from the point of her salvation and He was going to bring that to completion. The timeline was not to be a factor to me. I just needed to trust.
She has since turned much of her life around. There is more trust than before . She still makes some decisions that aren't what I wish she would do but we need to learn from our mistakes. Her spiriutal growth and maturity still has a road to travel, but then again, don't we all. We are all a work in progress!

Connie's Thoughts in Passing

2005-06-04T14:20:00.000-04:00

God breathed the life into me; it was so sweet to be,
It was early spring; with earth refreshed; he wished for me to see.
The beauty was so stunning; the breath he gave fell still;
His work with me not over; my cup was yet to fill.
He guided me with his own hand; sometimes I would let go;
He let me fall; then pick me up; he knew I had to grow.
There were mountains that stood to block my view; or so it seemed to me,
I must look beneath the surface; my heart it holds the key.
The flowers bloom in springtime; yet fade at summers’ end,
Only to renew for those with faith; the flaws his hand will mend.
He showed me love and caring; and there were times I’d turn away;
He’d reappear at oft times, and I knew I must not stray.
If I have to leave in springtime; what better time to go;
With earth refreshed; my work well done; leaving seeds to sow.
I’ll breathe new breath; such peace I’ll find; mere words cannot attain,
Love and beauty all around; releasing all life’s pain.
I don’t want to leave in springtime; but if my world must end,
I’ll wish your journey very blessed; as my gardens you now tend.